Peaceful Wanderings

The Reward...

2009-12-21T09:12:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, in that place your mind wanders just before you fall asleep, where you inhibitions scatter, and your thoughts are free to take on anything they please without consequence... it is at these moments when you are capable of greatness: condensing great ponderings into a single phrase, creating brilliant poetry, uncovering the secret to world peace or any other such feat. And the only thing these amazing accomplishments promise is that in the morning, when you wake, you will remember nothing and the capacity you have, not the accomplishment in itself, must be your reward.

God has given us capabilities beyond our imaginings, and yet day after day the Enemy has me so convinced of my uselessness, that I choose the status quo and leave "all things brilliant" to the invisible "they".

And day after day I have one less day to confront my weaknesses, stand in His strength, and act in obedience.

I want today to be a "stand in His strength day".

Poorly Focused

2009-05-27T19:55:00.000-07:00

"I can't believe that person __________!"

"I would never ___________!"

"How can ANYONE think _____________ is acceptable!?"

Well if these words haven't come out of your mouth, then they've certainly run through your head. And if not, I can admit both my mouth and mind have been friends of such phrases. I was driving home thinking of one subject that often fills these blanks in my life and debating exactly how much I hated it. More importantly I asked myself what I'd be willing to do in order to stop __________ from happening.

I find that in this day an age anger, hatred, judgement,- talk- happens alot. Gossip, talk radio, protests, we all vehemently disagree with something. And again, though sadly, I am involved in more negative conversations than I would ever be anything but hesitant and ashamed to admit. But this question... which things that I "talk" about on a regular basis would I really be willing to take the "hit" for? What things would I be willing not just to condemn with words but to place my self-interest, comfort, dreams, finances...my life on the line in order to intervene on behalf of _________. Well I'm glad the drive was filled with traffic, because it gave me time to find my answers.

Scripture says we need to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. This is the piece of Scripture that adhered itself to the lining of my brain as I thought of those things I'd be willing to throw myself on the train track for... and as the battle ensued between my anger and this piece of Scripture I found the anger slinking away in pitiful shame and I was left with nothing but the Scripture.

I have never in my life been quick to listen nor slow to speak. Similarly, my passion is inflamed swiftly. And when I find a soapbox it makes my speech all the more diuretic and my ears all the more constipated. And yet, as passionate as I become, and as many things as I speak against how many things do I DO something about. How many things do I sacrifice myself in order to fight/promote. You see until I had this conversation with myself about what was REALLY important, I had always told myself that my anger was a righteous anger. Its funny what happens when you truly ask God and allow yourself to accept whatever answer He gives, what clarity He can so quickly bring on a lifelong paradigm that needs to shift. That little bit of traffic shed light on a lie I have believed most of my life... its not righteous anger if all I am willing to do is "talk". Period.

"Gretchen. Hey sweetie... shhhhhhhh. Be still and know that I am God, dear one. Be still. I cover you with My voice, precious child. Be still and you will feel My voice, my covering. Like a blanket... like the arms of a Father... it will cover you. Be still and you will not only hear but listen and understand. Your heart will feel so safe in my covering, it will cuddle and snuggle down so far in my blanket that any other sound will be distant. Dream of that place my child. Pray for THAT place of stillness. And when you are covered in your own stillness and My Voice, what angers you will be righteous. You will give up everything except that blanket to fight what I, not you, cannot stand."

Its a matter of focus.

I could meditate on this one piece of Scripture for a lifetime, life a T-bone steak that renews itself with every bite and feeds a village through years of famine. God's Word has always been like this. Its never changed. It is me who becomes a fat, other-satisfied, child fed on the processed food of this world. Its me who needs to remind myself that I am, above all things, a simple villager, starving and ravenous with a T-bone steak in my hands.

"Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry."

Thank you, Lord, for speaking to me.

Riverbend Invasive Species Removal Day!!!!!

2009-04-27T13:41:00.000-07:00

Saturday May 2, I have become the site leader at Riverbend Park for Fairfax County's first annual Invasive Plant Removal Day. I was actually in the midst of planning a Riverbend-specific event when I got word that the whole county was on board in a full-on attack against a plant I've had a personal vendetta for since shortly after I came to Riverbend (see story below). Id REALLY love for you to come out and join us on Sat. May 2 from 9am-noon. You can sign up HERE and I'd love an email as well!

All you need is enough water to keep you hydrated, a pair of gloves, closed-toe shoes, and (preferably) long pants. We will give a short (free of charge) discussion about how to identify and effectively pull garlic mustard as well as how to identify and avoid all those things that might make you itch so that everyone has a fun, safe, effective day helping out our local butterflies (with most of Saturday to spare)!!!

Now all of you who went running around our yard collecting "bouquets" of this stuff for the last leg of our scavenger hunt/highland games day should be ECSTATIC to join in the fun here.

COME JOIN US! For the cause, for the view, for a day away from the city, or for a day of free "venting" opportunities (take it out on the bad plants and help the good ones!), be a local HERO! Whatever brings ya, we'd love your help!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GARLIC MUSTARD- MY PERSONAL STORY
Selection from my blog "On God and Garlic Mustard" posted 6/22/08 (full post HERE)

"Living at the Riverbend Key House, I've learned a great many things from my roommate, who works at the park. Many of these things have really affected my perspective on life as well as my day-to-day actions. One such thing that was made quite clear my first week at the park was that we definitely werent allowed to harm any of the plants, animals (or bugs) living around (or with) us. A concept I could live with (learning to catch and release snakes and bugs was fun) and actually adopted very quickly. All was well and good until one day I saw my roommate outside yanking up plants. I was mortified. When I questioned her, however, I learned that she was pulling up "invasives". An invasive is defined as a non-native plant or animal that reproduces quickly to the detriment of the native species (I was allowed to kill these). Bamboo, striped mosquitos, and Japanese stilt grass are some good examples in our area.

Well as you may have guessed, the plant she was pulling was non other than the garlic mustard plant. And its detriment, I kid you not, is that it murders butterflies. The plant smells like the butterflies' host plant, they lay their eggs, the eggs hatch, wrong plant, no food... starving butterflies (well caterpillars). I KNOW! Right? Well Garlic Mustard and I have just never been the same since. Every time I see it, I pull it. I have jokingly set up an entire political party focused on the extermination of the species here and in any of its non-native land. The benefit of this party being that a single-minded focus on Garlic Mustard's extermination makes big questions like the national debt, illegal aliens, and off-shore drilling MUCH easier to answer. We have even planned seriously entertaining events at birthday parties focused on pulling garlic mustard... Its amazing how much your perspective changes when you understand the reality of things around you."

Some GOOD guitar!

2009-04-19T12:49:00.000-07:00

For those of you who read my last post on Josh Garrels... prepare yourself for a second helping!

I just found Josh's rendition of a favorite Christmas carol that he and his friend, Trace Bundy performed as an encore. I'm currently motivated to become enough of a nerd to figure out how to get this onto my ipod! My dreams of being a good guitar player haven't even begun to catch up with the reality of his musicality, talent, and expression... so I will praise God while HE provides the music and long for heaven where even this is but a grace note!

And that leads me to Trace Bundy! This guy is on a totally different level. Nuf said.

Zion and Babylon

2009-04-16T20:38:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite artists has a new (to me) album and I wanted to share one of the songs with you... (the video is below the lyrics and the song starts around 2:00 into the clip) This is definitely on of my favorites, with its wonderful "rap/folk" feel that really adds to the already-convicting lyrics. I met Josh in college and my small campus ministry always asked him to play at our "coffee shop". He's an amazing Christian man, with an amazing family, some amazing talent and NOW I can get his stuff on iTunes! Well done, Josh! Everything for His kingdom!

Zion and Babylon
by Josh Garrels

Oh great mammon of form and function

Careless consumerist consumption

Dangerous dysfunction

Described as expensive taste

I’m a people disgraced

By what I claim I need

And what I want to waste

I take no account for nothing

If it’s not mine

It’s a misappropriation of funds

Protect my ninety percent with my guns

Whose side am I on?

Well who’s winning?

My kingdom’s built with the blood of slaves

Orphans, widows, and homeless graves

I sold their souls just to build my private mansion

Some people say that my time is coming

Kingdom come is the justice running

Down, down, down on me

I’m a poor child, I’m a lost son

I refuse to give my love to anyone,

Fight for the truth,

Or help the weaker ones

Because I love my Babylon

I am a slave, I was never free

I betrayed you for blood money

Oh I bought the world, all is vanity

Oh my Lord I’m your enemy

Come to me, and find your life

Children sing, Zion’s in sight

I said don’t trade your name for a serial number

Priceless lives were born from under graves

Where I found you

Say, My name ain’t yours and yours is not Mine

Mine is the Lord, and yours is My child

That’s how it’s always been

Time to make a change

Leave your home

Give to the poor all that you own

Lose your life, so that you could find it

First will be last when the true world comes

Livin’ like a humble fool to overcome

The upside-down wisdom

Of a dying world

Zion’s not built with hands

And in this place God will dwell with man

Sick be healed and cripples stand

Sing Allelu

My kingdom’s built with the blood of My Son

Selfless sacrifice for everyone

Faith, hope, love, and harmony

I said let this world know Me by your love

By your love

Oh My child, daughters and sons

I made you in love to overcome

Free as a bird, my flowers in the sun

On your way to Mount Zion

All you slaves, be set free

Come on out child and come on home to Me

We will dance, we will rejoice

If you can hear Me then follow My voice

Crucial Comparisons

2009-04-11T21:48:00.001-07:00

Thanks to the generosity of a dear friend, I was able to enjoy a magnificent performance of Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" by the National Philharmonic. I sat in the audience, tonight, captivated by the talent, the passion, the interaction... how each member of the philharmonic performing was amazing and yet totally useless of themselves and only awe-inspiring because they were part of such an exemplary "whole". I marveled at the near-perfect acoustics, the engineering that made it possible, and all that would be lost if the performance had taken place in a high school gymnasium. I listened to each of the seasons... I could feel the snow, the Summer storms, the Autumn hunt with hounds on the chase, and the vibrant life of Spring. And I thought of the composer, his genius, his life, and him never dreaming that hundreds of years later we would still be delighting in his life's work. I couldn't have asked for a better gift.

One part of this evening, in particular, held my attention. The solo violinist for the evening... a man of 31 years, dressed in a pin-striped suit, who stood through the performance and nearly "danced" with each section as he led them through the labyrinth of melodies. He was full of charisma and energy and if someone had tried to tie him to a chair they would have been wholly unsuccessful! He was far too intense to have limited himself in movement. As a result he played with the same intensity as that which moved his feet, causing the strings of his bow to snap and break through every movement of both pieces. At one point I looked down and saw his furious bow whipping 3 broken strings across the sky of the stage. It was like... well it was like a hockey game.

Let me explain...

In the past couple weeks I have also, at the generosity of a friend, been able to go to a Caps game. Apparently DC went out and recruited models to fill their hockey team because they are all pathetically good-looking men who still manage to own ALL their teeth (it just didn't seem right). In any case, it was the last home game of the regular season and I sat in the midst of some SERIOUS fans. When I got used to the constant ringing of my saturated ears, I had nothing but respect for the cooperative rumble of the crowd. They knew what to yell, when to yell it, and responded to horns and calls in perfect unison... it, too was intense. Although there was a severe lack of fights there was NO shortage of snapped sticks. Ovie skates up for a shot on goal... contact... CRACK... the pieces go flying... they lay on the ice to testify of the shear power that put them there... "and the crowd goes wild". It happened like 2 or 3 times in the span of no more than 5 minutes at one point. It was craziness.

Having grown up in the world of music, as opposed to that of hockey... I think its that same ear-shattering cheer that wells up inside of me when, nearing a powerful crescendo or plucking out a race of pizzicatos, a string snaps and flails- cheering its performer- throughout the length of the piece. It gets me every time. And I wish that tonight, I'd had a horn... I wish I could have started a cheer that would have caught like wildfire through the crowd... I wish I could have whistled or jumped from my seat and waved my hands. But in music,(I suppose) silence IS your cheer. You look on in anticipation. You share a secret and unrequited smile with the soloist. You sit on the edge of your seat instead of jumping from it and bottle all the excitement until you can stand, clap, and join the crowd of "bravos" being thrown toward the stage. But its the same feeling... its the very same wonderful feeling.

...except you have NO hope of a Zamboni at intermission )-:

Soggy Subway, Fantastic Friends!

2009-03-27T20:25:00.000-07:00

My roommate and I had planned an evening kayak for tonight, and I've been looking forward to time on the water all week! So after getting a small snack and gathering gear, I was elated to finally push off the boat ramp around 7:15pm. Cole and I set out, she being characteristically enthusiastic about the things she wanted to see, but quicker and more direct than usual (due to her not getting out much this week and wanting to get some good exercise as opposed to the leisurely paddle I had envisioned). In any case we went over to Beale's island which has this great cut through, just about the time it started raining a bit. As we ventured back into the cut through (because its covered by a great variety of trees) we didn't realize that the rain was steadily becoming heavier until we headed back out.

Cole, who had b-lined for this specific place in search of "wood ducks" decided to leave, being satisfied that none were situated in this location and practically sprinted out and up river toward another nearby island. As we drew closer, we saw headlamps on the island (suspect immediately as this is definitely not the norm). I started getting nervous as we curiously drew nearer and nearer to this irregularity. There were at least 4 lights, a group bigger than us, and by this time it was both dark and raining fairly decently. What REALLY freaked me out is when I was close enough to notice that written on the tent these crazies had set up, was my name. The situation had gone completely Blair Witch on me and I had started hastily backpaddling when Cole shouts...

...Happy Birthday, Gretchen!

There, gathered on the island behind a herd of docked kayaks, was a group of my friends. In the middle of a river, in the rain and darkness, with HUGE smiles on their faces and a banner (not a freaky tent) that read Happy Birthday Gretchen! They pulled me from my boat and we hung out in a circle with Starbucks Frappaccinos, Subway Sandwiches, and (trick candle) cupcakes... telling the stories of how we had all met... and enjoying the amazing company, completely unaffected by the rain.

To ensure that everyone got back safely... we assigned different "calls" to each person (Cole was a duck, Marc was the "yup yups" from Sesame Street, I was Chubaka... and the list goes on). In this way, checking to make sure we had everyone became a melody of ridiculousness that echoed joyfully across the water.

We made it back, fit 7 people in Cole's Tercel and drove this clown car back home (stopping every 25 feet or so for me to act as "Toad Sweeper", because they were ALL out enjoying the rain and begging to be squashed by less observant drivers in the area). In fact... at any given interval I'd run a couple hundred yards followed by the car due to the large number of Toads- all wishing me Happy Birthday I'd like to think. The car was filled with wet, jubilant, friends that I wouldn't trade for the world! I don't have any idea why God chose to bless me with such a group of amazing people, but I couldn't appreciate more the kind of people who will kayak to the middle of a river, get drenched, eat soggy Subway sandwiches, enjoy every minute of it, and know me well enough to know that nothing could have made me happier!

I felt SO loved tonight guys! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

Meditation...

2009-01-29T09:41:00.000-08:00

...we must learn to listen.

Human beings seem to have a perpetual tendency to have somebody else talk to God for them. We are content to have the message secondhand- even from someone as flawed as we are. One of Israel's fatal mistakes was their insistence upon having a human king rather than resting in the theocratic rule of God over them.

And thus, the history of religion is the story of an almost desperate scramble to have a king, a mediator, a priest, a pastor, a go-between. In this way we can feel "safe" in that we do not need to go to God ourselves.

This is why meditation is so threatening to us. It boldly calls us to enter into the living presence of God for ourselves. It tells us that God is speaking in the continuous present and wants to address us.

Both Peter and Stephen point to Christ as the fulfillment of the prophecy in Deuteronomy 18:15 of the prophet like Moses who is to speak and whom the people are to hear and obey (Acts 3:22, Acts 7:37, Hebrews 1:1-13, 3: 7-8, 12:25). In the book of Acts we see the resurrected and reigning Chrst, through the Holy Spirit, teaching and guiding His children: leading Philip to unreached cultures (Acts 8), teaching Peter about his Jewish nationalism (Acts 10), guiding the Church out of cultural captivity (Acts 15). What we see over and over again is God's people learning to live on the basis of hearing God's voice and obeying His Word.

This is a brief summary of the Biblical foundation for meditation and the wonderful news that Jesus has not stopped acting and speaking. He is resurrected and at work in our world. He is not idle, nor has He developed laryngitis. He is alive and among us as Priest to forgive us, as Prophet to teach us, as King to rule us, and as Shepherd to guide us.

We must learn to listen.

-excepts from "Celebration of Discipline" by Richard Foster

lessons from Dr. House

2009-01-14T11:18:00.000-08:00

After being separated, thankfully, from TV for so long I really started to appreciate the peace. However, now that there is one in the house that ridiculous "draw" to television has, on occasion sucked me back in to "loafing"- an activity I haven't done for quite some time. One such occasion was last night... I watched 3 episodes of House.

Surprisingly, having turned off my brain almost completely I'm sure, a phrase caught my attention and I thought about it the entire rest of the evening. Dr. House had, on a whim, diagnosed a man with a pituitary disorder. This man had been comatose for nearly 10 years and had suffered through endless surgeries for brain cancer. But Dr. House, for some reason really believed a simple shot of Cortisol could make this man walk. So he kept running test after test trying to prove his theory and finally the hospital staff made him give up. Some subconscious "trust" in House's whim, however, caused his superior to give the patient a quick shot of Cortisol as he was leaving the hospital. And the man woke up as if someone had flipped a switch, got out of his wheelchair, and embraced his wife.

Desiring House to gain some humility, though, his colleagues kept these events from House and let him believe that the man had gone home as comatose as he had come. When House finally finds out about it, he confronts his superior and the conversation goes like this:
"WHY? Why would you have kept this from me?"
"House, we didn't want you to go around thinking you were God."
House looks up, and replies-
"God doesn't limp."

I couldn't help but to think of all the things in my life that keep me from ever being able to pretend that I am God. I just kept thinking about how hard it is to appreciate those things but how overwhelmingly grateful I should be for each of them. This comes from a firm belief that a healthy sense of humility, which comes in various forms, is one of the greatest gifts God has given us (apart from grace).

God isn't selfish.
God isn't ashamed.
God isn't short.
God isn't lazy.
God doesn't get sick.
God doesn't make bad decisions.
God doesn't need glasses.
God isn't afraid.
God doesn't have an ego.
God isn't insecure.
God isn't flawed at all.

And I am in awe of such a perfect set-up. That I don't have to be trapped by any of my flaws. I don't have to wallow in hopeless acceptance. That through Christ I can overcome any and all of these flaws. But that dependence on Him keeps me from being "proud" about that victory, thinking myself to be God, and behaving as though I am.

Good Idea... Bad Idea...

2009-01-13T08:28:00.001-08:00

Good Idea...
...driving a 4-cylinder, 2-wheel drive, Honda with an automatic transmission around Washington, D.C.

Bad Idea...
... driving a 4-cylinder, 2-wheel drive, Honda with an automatic transmission up and over steep mountain passes in the snow and ice.

I hired God.

2009-01-09T09:47:00.000-08:00

I've spent a lot of my life talking to people about what it means to be a Christian. What life as a servant of God looks like. And attempting to tear down inaccurate pictures people have of Christians and, similarly, of Christ Himself. My favorite way to do this is to draw parallels with things that are familar. I don't talk to people about this stuff because I think I "have it all together" and am some great pillar of faith. I talk to people because Christ has influenced and affected my life more than anything else... He has brought me through some painful situations and led me into situations that were far greater than anything I could have imagined. I talk to people about Christ because Christ has made me who I am. So when I find good parallels and share them its because He is genuinely what is on my mind and the thing I am sincerely passionate about. And so this is why I share this thought with you.

I hired God.

I just had the most fantastic conversation, and I use fantastic in the same way you would describe a fairy tale. And afterwards I sat to contemplate exactly what had happened and it led me to think of my decision to become a Christian as a sort of "hiring" of God.

Now one might ask... "What does that look like?" Well, here's the thing. I didn't hire God as a store owner hires an employee. I hired God as a person hires a stock broker. You pay a broker to take everything of worth and to manage it in whatever way he sees fit, in faith that the broker will manage it in a way as to garner the largest gain possible according to his expert opinion. People do this all the time. Especially people that don't know anything about stocks. Can you imagine me or any other Joe Schmo who knows nothing about trading, deciding to invest millions of dollars by walking out onto the "floor" and trying to do business? The thought of that is not only scary and overwhelming- its ridiculous. And thats exactly what I avoided when I became a Christian. My life is the only thing I have that is really "worth" anything. Money is a game we play, and its helpful, but when governments fall and food, shelter, and water become scarce... life is the ONLY goal and everything else becomes a commodity. And when I became a Christian, I decided that God was smarter than me, more loving than me, and way more powerful than me... so to have the most effective life I should invest it and let Him manage it. So I hired Him to be my broker.

Now the world isn't perfect, much like the market isn't perfect. So its true, I have suffered some losses. But if I take on the mindset of an investor, then I trust that if I hired an excellent broker then those losses were the best possible losses to take and if I can hang in there, those stocks might just bounce back. Now imagine if I was an investor who was aware that my broker had ALL the insider information. I could sit back, relax, and fear nothing but jail time.

And this is where the parallel breaks down. Because though I appreciate God, He's never demanded a payment of any kind for His work. And, happily, in the "life market" insider information isn't illegal. How cool is that? And some of those losses need to be taken in order to set us up with a better portfolio. And in the "life market" money doesn't tend to be the tender of exchanges.

But as far as the parallel allows, I guess I've just decided that although I have nothing to offer the stock market, my life is worth more than the NYSE could handle. So I've invested in a different market and all I did when I decided to follow Christ was to hire the Perfect broker.

(disclaimer: I know nothing of the stock market. If you do and see a flaw here please feel free to bring it to my attention).

God's Fantastic Networking Skills

2009-01-08T14:25:00.000-08:00

So I'm staying in Colorado and am joining the throng of jobless people out there looking for a way to pay bills. It doesn't look so good for anybody when someone with a college degree can't even get a job at a grocery store. But the conversation I had today made all the searching and resumes worth it. Here's the story.

On December 15th Kristin and I were finished with our mission trip. And after packing up we were on our way to the east coast from Colorado. The weather got bad and severely cold and we decided to stop for the night and take the hit for a night at a Super 8. The next morning we decided to stop at the Continental Breakfast- which means coffee and waffle makers. So we happily got our coffee, made our waffles and sat down. A man walked in about 2 minutes later, put his waffle mix in and walked off to discuss something with the woman at the desk. We heard his waffle beep-DONE-but didn't see him anywhere in sight, so Kristin suggested we save it for him. When he returned, and was looking for his waffle, we told him what we'd done and he asked if he could join us for breakfast. We said, sure, and we started with the typical small chat. He found out we were missionaries and told us he was staff for Navigators- a worldwide Christian organization that does a lot of college ministry and is heavily involved in linguistics from any tribe you can think of. So he makes comment that the university where he works is looking for female Navigators staff... and the story goes with lengthy discussion and the trading of contact info.

So yesterday when I was looking for jobs, and driving around to acquaint myself to the area, I made a wrong turn into small strip of businesses. I looked over to notice a small sign for an outdoor retailer. I remembered the meeting at the Super 8 and decided that no chance was too small and a wrong turn could turn into something significant. So I got out of my car, walked into the store, saw the woman behind the counter, smiled and said, "You wouldn't happen to be hiring, would you?" She nodded, gave me the same answer I've gotten everywhere else, but offered an application "just in case". But I like talking to people, so we chatted for a good 20 minutes about climbing, backpacking, skiing and the such wherein I was able to give her a good idea of what the last 4 months of my life looked like. Then she says, "hold on... I know the man that runs 3 or 4 outdoor retailer stores in the area... I used to work with him... let me give him a call."

So she calls and starts to tell this man what a wonderful female applicant she has here and suggests he hire me. WHAT? I was blown away. So this man tells me to show up tomorrow and he will talk to me about a job!!!!

So I got all excited and as soon as I woke up this morning I started checking to see if my references had come back so that I could also give this man a resume. And low and behold a message pops up. Its none other than this man from the Super 8! And he starts telling me that the national training for those interested in becoming staff is this weekend in Colorado and Navigators might fly me out for it. But seriously... I'm IN Colorado. Then he asks for my number. I get a call and it just so happens that the national director walked past his office as we were chatting so he had the national director called me. After chatting for 10 or 15 minutes he suggests that while he is in town for a staff conference at the end of January, I should drive down, meet him in Colorado Springs and he will personally introduce me to 8-10 of the people I should meet.

In Summary: A random chance meeting at a Super 8 over waffles could be the doorway to a new career. Seriously. I am just in awe. Even if neither of the jobs work out... how cool!?

PLEASE READ!!!!

2008-12-29T19:03:00.000-08:00

My amazing brother got me a great gift for Christmas and I'd like to share it with you. He wrapped knowledge in a box, empowering me (and now you) to change things for the better!

The book he gave me is titled, "the better world shopping guide". Based on 20 years of research this book rates everything from banks, credit cards and airlines, to all sorts of retail, gasoline, and even chocolate by giving them report cards (A-F just like school). Grades are based on a companies practices in the areas of human rights, environmental responsibility, social justice, community involvement and animal protection. So this post is a list that can literally change the world.

10 years ago no store offered ANY environmentally safe cleaning supplies, and NO ONE encouraged you to bring your own bags for shopping. Yesterday I saw safe cleaning supplies in a Marsh and reusable bags in Dick's Sporting Goods and even the local hardware store. We clearly have the power to change trends for the better. All it takes is education on which companies are "biting the bullet" and foregoing revenue to maintain ethical practices like fair trade and renewable energy. You have the power to support these companies every time you get gas, go to the store, or put money in your bank. You also have the power to avoid companies who dump toxic waste, and utilize child slave labor and sweatshops. So here's the information and the rest is up to you!!!!

Join me in making one product change a week for the next 10 weeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TOP 10 BEST COMPANIES (Companies that received and A+)
1)Seventh Generation (paper products and cleaning supplies)
2)Working Assets
3)Eden Foods
4)Organic Valley
5)Clif Bar
6)Honest Tea
7)Patagonia
8)Tom's of Maine (hygiene products)
9)Ben and Jerry's
10)Aveda

TOP 10 WORST COMPANIES (receiving and F)
1)Exxon-Mobil (Sunoco and BP received superior ratings)
2)Kraft (Newman's Own is a great alternative)
3)Wal-Mart
4)Chevron-Texaco
5)Pfizer
6)Nestle
7)General Electric
8)Archer Daniels Midland
9)General Motors
10)Tyson Foods

TOP 10 SMALL BUSINESSES
1)Druide (Body Care)
2)Shorebank
3)Dr. Bronner's (great soaps of all kinds... a GREAT change to make!)
4)Maggie's Organics
5)New Belgium Brewing
6)Thanksgiving Coffee
7)Endangered Species (delicious chocolate, good info, great ethics)
8)World of Good
9)Kettle Foods
10)Ten Thousand Villages

TOP 10 MOST INFLUENTIAL CHANGES
1)Bank- Citibank F, Bank of America D-, National City D-, Wachovia D, SunTrust D+, Wells Fargo and Keybank C-, local credit unions are the way to go)
2)Gasoline- Sunoco (A-) is the place to go and BP is doing well. Exxon is a renowned human rights violater.
3)Supermarket- Yay for whole foods-powered by 100% renewable energy, wild oats, and trader joe's. Wegman's gets a nice B. Avoid Safeway, King Soopers, Ralph's, Food 4 Less, Kroger and Kmart (all receiving Ds). Wal-mart hates the planet (toxic waste dumping, child labor, etc).
4)Retail Stores-Patagonia wins hands down here! REI gets an A-. Nordstrum, L.L. Bean get a nice B. Avoid Meijer, Costco, Sears, Kohl's, Sak's, Macy's, and Dillards. Wal-mart still hates our planet.
5)Car-Toyota (#1 most ethical auto maker), Lexus, Honda and Acura win here. Ford, Volvo, Murcury, Buick, Cadillac, Saturn, Chevy, Saab, HUMMER and Pontiac all get an F. GMC named "corporate villain" for pollution, fighting clean air legislation etc.
6)Seafood-EcoFish is the only environmentally sustainable fishery out there. Wild catch got an A. Starkist is the only company to fail here. Current fishing practices also make certain types of seafood better or worse depending on what else is killed or destroyed in the process. The list is long but here is a great resource is you are a seafood lover (http://www.edf.org/page.cfm?tagID=1521&redirect=seafood).
7)Chocolate-YAY Endangered Species Chocolate (Fair trade, slave-free, family-owned farmers, Eco-certified etc). BOOOO Dove, Swiss Miss and Toblerone (D-F). Nestle named "corporate villain" (agressive family farm takeovers, current child slavery lawsuit, etc.). Currently 40% of chocolate is produced using child slave labor. Be careful what you buy!
8)Coffee-Thanksgiving Coffee A+ (http://www.thanksgivingcoffee.com/). Starbuck's and Seattle's Best do well with a B-. Stay away from Folgers, Nestle, CoffeeMate, Nescafe, Maxwell House, and Yuban (D-F). Buying Fair Trade coffee has a huge impact right now.
9)Credit Cards-Visa and Discover-F... Mastercard-C-... American Express and Capitol One- C) ... there IS no great option here)
10)Cleaning Products- Seventh Generation is our hero here! Dr Bronner's also great! Products to avoid: Easy-Off, Lysol, Pledge, Dawn, Soft Scrub, Joy, Ivory, Swiffer, Pine-Sol, Clorox, Glad, Liquid Plumber (great alternatives available in Seventh Gen. and Dr. Bronner's).

Gretchen's Personal Boycott List
a cumulative summary
1)NESTLE (Gerber)KRAFT (Nabisco), Jell-O, Raisin Bran
2)WAL-MART
3)Deer Park
4)GE and GM (sorry Ernie...)
5)Verizon (sad... this is going to be hard)
6)MandMs, Peter Pan Peanut Butter
7)McDonald's, KFC (F-), Taco Bell, Wendy's, and... BajaFresh )-:
8)Tampax
9)Brawny Paper Towels
10) Purell, Ivory and Dial

Gretchen's Favs
a cumulative summary
1)Seventh Generation
2)Sunoco
3)Organic Valley
4)Newman's Own
5)Dr. Bronner's
6)Clif Bar
7)Tom's of Maine
8)Eden Foods
9)Amy's
10)Endangered Species Chocolate

Interesting As
-New Belgium beer(water conservation, employee owned, 100% wind powered)
-Kettle Chips
-Hewlett Packard
-Apple (free recycling on all of their ipods and computers too!)
-Chipotle (Panera and In-N-Out did great too!)
-Sunoco (I am SO proud of this company!)
-Ben and Jerry's
-IKEA

Interesting Fs
-Miller, PBR, Milwaukee's Best
-Revlon, Covergirl, Olay, Estee Lauder,Lubriderm
-Raisin Bran
-Microsoft (sad... sorry Mom)
-Crest (Jason, Tom's of Maine and even Rembrandt are great alternatives)
-Tampax
-Altoids
-Coca-Cola (Minute-Maid),Country Time, Nestea, Kool-Aid, Capri Sun, Crystal Light
-Purina, Meow Mix, Fancy Feast, Friskies, Alpo
-Purell, Ivory and Dial
-Deer Park, Vitamin Water, Smart Water, Dasani (BUY A NALGENE OR A SIGG!!!)

Hueco Tanks... Good bouldering, Great People!

2008-12-28T23:23:00.000-08:00

This photo demands explanation... its team bouldering. Only a true friend would sacrifice his neck to provide a hold when none could be found.

Ed

2008-12-28T19:43:00.000-08:00

Its a somewhat unusual thing... living in a van (depending on the circles you frequent). Unusual enough, even, to have become the subject of a fairly famous line used to mock a lazy teenager. We didn't tend to park our van "down by the river, but same idea.
I find myself missing the van.

There is something in the pit of my heart that craves its coziness. The schedule that we didn't even know we had. The routine, the roles, a way of doing things that we comfortably fell into...eventually. The constant rearrangement of things for efficiency sake, the great space excuse for not buying things, the fact that anything you needed for climbing or eating was a few steps away. I miss the fact that from the first day til the last, everything in/on the van was there with ministry in mind. I desperately miss cooking outdoors, pulling my clothes from a bin which held only 5 or 6 choices, and having my books for quiet times beside my headlamp beside the bed. I even miss being cramped. I miss not having an office and getting to work in a local coffee shop. I miss the people that Ed drew in- either by sticker or simple curiosity. I miss feeling "at home" everywhere I went (even though I didn't always appreciate it in the moment". I miss never knowing if he'd make it to the next destination, but knowing that if he didn't we could curl up, get a good night's rest, and deal with it in the morning. I miss not having a radio. I really miss not having a radio. Its the reason I know the order of all the books in the Bible. Its responsible for most of the Scripture I have memorized. Its the reason we had so much time to pray. It was a wonderful blessing. I miss not needing stuff. I loved not having stuff.

I miss the simplicity of living in a van. It left so much time and space to let important things be complicated.

Kids don't grow up saying, "Golly Dad... I'd like to live in a van when I grown up." But I kinda wish they could.

Last Hurrah in JTree!!!

2008-12-16T06:13:00.001-08:00

For our last "Hurrah" at Joshua Tree, God brought together more than 30 people! There were Solid Rock members, climbers we'd met along the journey, old friends, new friends, and a few complete strangers. So when we started getting all these wonderful RSVPs... it was clear that we needed some help- enter Michelle Onsaga. Having previous wedding catering experience, and a love to feed large groups (Hmmmm. hey... Jesus like to do that too!!!), when we asked her to bring a few things she totally raised the bar. Burritos turned into a "step into Mexico" evening at the campgroud complete with vats of homemade soup, rolls, appetizers, candles, Mexican blanket tablecloths, and even some salsa music! It was incredible!

This a picture of the food line. It was such a blessing to be able to feed the people that had blessed us along our path!

And... apparently... the food was good!

We also celebrated 2 birthdays that weekend! This is a picture of Noelani, Michelle's daughter. Both birthday girls got a tiara and a big chocolate cake...yummmmmmmmmm!

Kristin's cousin, Ryan brought his dog Cali ( a beautiful fox red lab) and this thing. He had found this canine-type animal a week before. We affectionately referred to it as "Tiny Dog" which seems to have stuck and everyone took turns zipping the pooch into their puffies in an attempt to make it stop shivering.

Sunday morning we got up and had a small church service. Kurt, having done the sermon a few weeks prior for Kristin and I, was now a "Man of the Cloth" by backcountry standards, so we asked him back. We got an impressive talk about 8 of the 300 Old Testament prophecies fulfilled by Jesus Christ (I've never flipped between Malachi, Zechariah, Habakkuk, and Zephaniah so much in my life- it was wonderful). This is a picture of some of our impromptu worship team. We also had some harmonicas, a drum, another guitar, and some shaker eggs!

After the service we had the opportunity to split into groups of 3 or 4 and pray for each other, for Solid Rock, for the climbing community, and for our travels to Hueco (the last destination point on our trip map).

During that time of prayer,Ross told us that God was really leading him to be the next on-the-road missionary for Solid Rock!!!! So we prayed for him too. And, having possession of the SRCFC lantern... we couldn't resist a "passing the torch" picture! Can't think of a better person to be passing it to!

Just before leaving, Amy, Kristin, and I noticed we had ALL worn our legwarmers to church (I have decided legwarmers are fantastic pieces of climbing gear- they are perfect for cold days when you don't want to worry about tripping over pants on the rock... even if you have to look like a total tool, warmth is worth it!!!!).

You KNOW you wanted a close-up! Between the 3 of us we are sporting home-made, Target, and SmartWool. I hate to support Target, but mine did have sparklies!

JTree Again!

2008-12-14T19:33:00.001-08:00

Our friend Kurt came down the weekend before the Thanksgiving (I know I've posted out of order... my apologies) and joined us for some of the best climbing I've done in Joshua Tree (Gretchen's guide book to follow). So we packed lunches and gear for the day and headed off! I'm gonna miss my kitchen SO much when we finish this trip!!!

The first day, we went and did a couple classics: Touch and Go (5.9 crack- seen here) and Heart and Soul (5.10a slab/flake). Touch and Go is officially my favorite climb in JTree- for those of you who remember the video of my first crack climb... I've learned to love them! As for Heart and Soul... I was so proud of Kristin for leading it that I forgot to climb it... ooops.

This is Kurt. He is an amazing climber (both mountain and rock). I've decided, however, that after 2 ascents of Everest... you don't need any help proving such things. So while I've included lovely shots of Kristin and I... I just HAD to post this pic of Kurt on one of our walk-offs for the day! We were obviously having fun!

This is Kristin on Fotehog (5.6, 2 pitches of fabulousness)! We did this climb and Western Saga (5.9, 2 pitches with a full-on roof) that day and it was wonderful!

This was also the first day I got to wear my new Solid Rock shirt- thanks to Julia! (the shirt was probably the ONLY reason I made it over that roof!). I absolutely love it! It reads:
"Trad- follow crack
Sport- follow bolts
Life- follow Jesus"

On Sunday Kurt joined us for church! I'm gonna miss this church bunches too! This is the worship team and Kurt was the preacher. It was one of the best services I've been to in awhile! Thanks Kurt!

That evening, we randomly got to hang out with Kurt, our friend Mick who had taken over our campsite, and Matt, a Solid Rock member. It was great that the one weekend we weren't able to plan a gathering... a gathering planned itself! God is so good!

Thanksgiving in Santa Cruz

2008-11-29T13:47:00.000-08:00

Some of the residents of Santa Cruz... we didn't have Thanksgiving with them though...

We had Thanksgiving with these guys!

This Thanksgiving, being quite a ways from home, I was invited to spend the holiday with Kristin's Aunt Laura, her husband Scott, their two children Jenna and Riley, as well as the 2 dogs, 3 cats, and endless gaggles of friends and neighbors (some of which pictured above). It felt just as crazy as being home. They live in a lovely little home in Santa Cruz, so Kristin and I drove as far as L.A. and then hitched a ride north with her brother, Darin.

Thanksgiving morning was eventful, to say the least. It started with Kristin and I stealing away to see our friend, Gillian, whom we had met in Yosemite (she happens to live in the Santa Cruz area)! We miss you already, Gillian!

This is Jenna. She is currently attending school for the culinary arts, so you can just imagine who was in charge! She and Aunt Laura masterfully coordinated 7 cooks in 3 houses to create all the amazing food they had planned for the day!

I was one of the cooks in (neighbor) Peter's house with Kristin (Corn Pudding) and Miriam- a friend of the family from Tunesia (Kunefe, her dessert was incredible). I got to make the mashed potatoes (using my Dad's recipe)... and I even got to use the "special peeler"- it looks like a chicken. We had a blast!

This is Darin, Kristin's brother, one of the cooks. He took care of the Apple Pie and, clearly, the Brussel Sprouts! He was walking them over from Juanita's House. Her refrigerator was already full!

And this was the finished product. Sixteen people, 5 countries represented, 1 table : Turkey, Gravy, Stuffing, Cranberries, Brussel Sprouts, Spicy Green Beans, Corn Pudding, Mashed Potatoes, Spiral Rolls, Mashed Plantains, Marmalade Sweet Potatoes,Apple/Walnut Salad, Pumpkin Cheesecake, Chocolate Cheesecake, Baklava, Kunefe, Chocolate Marzipan Cake, Apple Pie...all made from scratch! It was good food.

Guests gone and dishes done, Aunt Laura insisted that the day wouldn't be complete without some cards (I felt SO at home). So we played "Oh, Hell" (a great game, I learned) and laughed ourselves silly as Peter (with a darling Romanian accent) entertained us with his amazing sense of humor!

During our thrilling game of cards, and for the remainder of our "game night", Scott serenaded us with some of his own jazz compositions. They were beautiful! And it was so cute when proud Aunt Laura remarked, "...and the piano isn't even his principal instrument!" They are such an adorable couple!

So thanks to a promise Kristin had made to Brian, we convinced her to join us for a game of Settlers of Catan (thanks for the help Brian). She played on a team with Scott. The two of them were a WONDERFUL pair. But even with his kind teaching style, she had a few moments of frustration (mostly when I interrupted her thought processing taking pictures).

Riley led most of the game until I blocked his longest road. Things looked good for my white pieces until, out of nowhere, Kristin sets up a settlement, flips a few cards, and declares... THAT'S TEN! Sounding just as surprised as the rest of us. It was truly a momentous occasion. We celebrated with a victory picture!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We left the next morning and stopped by Pinnacles National Monument on the way. It offers lots of beautiful green, moss-covered views, great rock climbing, bouldering, and a few talus caves that are just spectacular. These are some of the pictures of our time there!
Climbing the gate entrance to the Talus caves!

Checking out some climbs on that arete!
Bouldering... I just can't help myself sometimes!

It was such a blessing to be able to join Kristin's family. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday to spend at home... so I am very grateful that God provided a home away from home! God is so good!

Wilderness First Responder Course

2008-11-25T15:49:00.000-08:00

So thanks to an email I received from Kristin this time last year, I was recently able to attend a Wilderness First Responder Class on a full-ride scholarship for "outdoorsy types" who are fluent in Sign Language. God also hooked me up with an amazing Christian family within walking distance(.4 miles away)who were kind enough to welcome me into their home for 10 days (altogether, God figured out how to bless me with a $1,000 experience for free!). I took the class through WMI (Wilderness Medicine Institute) in coalition with NOLS (National Outdoor Leadership School). My instructors were absolutely amazing and I learned more in the 9 days (80 hours) of class than I could have hoped or imagined. The goal of this class was to give us enough information to respond to emergencies in the wilderness, to evacuate people safely, to learn to improvise much of the medical gear we wouldn't have access to, and to interact with Search and Rescue as well as EMTs/Paramedics and Hospital personnel effectively.

It was such a huge blessing! Thanks to one of the people in my class, I have a few photos to share with you of what the week looked like.

This is the town where the class was held. At about 7,000 feet, and Bishop being its closest neighbor, the booming Metropolis of Aspendell, Ca has a population of 75... (seriously... and all their mail boxes are in one big line).

This is where we ate lunch everyday. About one half mile from the little fishing lodge where the class was held is beautiful Lake Sabrina in the middle of the gorgeous Sierras (quickly becoming my favorite mountains).

These were some of the supplies that awaited us the first day. A litter, a backboard, and a about 15 canvas bags full of medical supplies should have prepared me for expanse of the education to come...

These are our notes for CPR... I have been CPR certified before but NEVER would have felt comfortable helping someone. Thanks to this class I am so solid on CPR and will, surely, annoy the living daylights out of my family making them learn! Watch out, guys!

We practiced CPR on our Actar mannequins forEVER... but like I said. I'm solid. It was totally worth it!

Next we learned about the brain. To secure the information into our memories she asked us to team up and find the most precious item any of us had brought to class. Then we had to improvise all the layers of the skull out of items we found in the classroom to protect that precious item. This was the winner! Isn't she cute!

This is my instructor (Melis) and my friend Shannon providing a limb for the "Abrasions, Avulsions, Lacerations, Burns, and Amputations" Class. It was great how much our instructors got into the "moulage". After we learned each topic we did multiple scenarios where we acted out different ailments. In one pretty serious scenario I had my hand amputated and it SERIOUSLY looked like my hand had been amputated.

Here we are learning how to reduce dislocations. So the deal here is that Wilderness First Responders and Doctors are the only medical professionals that are allowed to reduce dislocations... how cool is that? Our instructor did a scenario for us and, in all seriousness, pushed one of the students out of the way and remarked "Get back, lowly EMT... I will take care of this shoulder dislocation!" (no disrespect to the EMTs)

This is the reduction of an elbow dislocation. Looks pretty painful huh?

I was volunteered to be the patient for the "Litter Carry" (thanks to my "small-ness") where 10 of my fellow students strapped me into a litter, passed me over rocks and down trails and even tipped me over in case I needed to vomit. It was quite the experience. I'd like to NEVER be in that position again! So when they needed a volunteer to be back boarded I took a step BACKWARDS, but Angus didn't... mwahahahaha!

My team won the backboard race by almost a minute. To test the effectiveness of our job we were asked if we were brave enough to flip our "patient". Without confirmation from Angus on how HE felt about this idea we flipped on 3... and sure enough he remained stable! YAY!

The drawings that happened during the course were too much fun. Looks pretty happy for a guy with mass trauma to his spine eh? I missed the drawing of the "Hypowrap" (how you deal with moderate and sever hypothermia... pretty much making a human burrito out of your patient, 2 sleeping bags, a ground tarp, a sleeping pad, a hat and a water bottle-or whatever you can get your hands on). Its a shame because I'm pretty sure that was the funniest drawing of the class!

So this isn't my class. I grabbed a shot from a previous WFR course. But this really happened! Whats funny is that none of us, including the volunteer patient (Joe), had any idea we were going to give REAL injections (of saline)until our instructor actually stuck him! Then she got out a bag of syringes and asked us to pair up... I nearly crapped my pants but I DID IT!

So after dealing with "Epinephrine" injections we went on to Musculoskeletal Injuries. For the less dramatic injuries we learned proper sling and swathe technique with triangular cravats as well as improvised material (shirts, jackets, even bunches of bandannas).

For the more dramatic injuries (fractures, compound fractures, etc etc etc) we learned to use Sam Splints as well as how to improvise splints. This is one example of an improvised splint (shirt and compression straps from a sleeping bag). MY team made our splint from a frisbee, 2 bandannas, and a cordelette. I WISH I had a picture! It was fantastic. Another team made a splint from a multi-pitch pack, a sock, and a bandanna. The creativity was inspiring!

This was a knee splint made from a Crazy Creek chair. Then we did compound TibFib fractures. We learned how to clean the area, pull the bone back under the skin, and splint the affected area with the exact same materials.

Of all the splints, this was the craziest. This splint is for a Mid-shaft femur fracture. You have to make a splint that can replace manual traction with mechanical traction consistently in order to avoid the danger of crushing or splicing the femoral artery. It was pretty hardcore, but this team did a great job! They made theirs with a sleeping mat, a couple shirts, a down coat, a couple shoelaces, some webbing, and a trekking pole. It was impressive...

We also learned about trauma injuries, internal bleeding issues, cardiac emergencies, hyponatremia, heat-induced illness, brain injury, poisons, infections and lung injuries (my favorite of which was the "sucking chest wound" which require an occlusive dressing... how great is that!?).

On our last day we learned about injuries to male and female genitalia. This was the greatest demonstration of testicular torsion that I could possible imagine. None of us forgot this one!

This was CRAM DAY, the day before the test. The evening before we had an evening session wherein we went out into the wilderness (carrying light day packs) in groups of 5 and "happened upon" mass injury throughout the evening. We were responsible for providing effective initial treatment, providing improvised shelter for the evening, keeping patients warm, taking care of basic needs, having a schedule for maintaining vitals in shifts through the night, and creating a rescue plan for evacuation as well as a secondary plan for the team to evacuate without assistance. It was pretty intense, but we had learned alot and all of us felt prepared. It was a great feeling!

I's SUPER psyched to have had this training! Its a great organization, with skilled instructors and a stellar format figured out. I would really suggest this class for anyone who spends alot of time in the backcountry! Its worth every penny! And I am completely humbled to have been blessed with an opportunity to take it! Thank you, Kristin for the email, WMI for the scholarship, and the Davis family for the hospitality... it wouldn't have been possible without each of you!

"What kind of God would..."

2008-11-24T23:57:00.000-08:00

What kind of God would give you families and then ask you to leave them?
What kind of God would give you friends and then ask you to say "Goodbye?"

A God who knows that the deepest love is built not on passion and romance but on a common mission and sacrifice.
A God who knows that we are only pilgrims and that eternity is so close that any "Goodbye" is, in reality, a "See you tomorrow."

A God who did it Himself.

-Max Lucado

He made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.
-Philippians 2:2

The Promised Poi Post

2008-11-15T15:03:00.000-08:00

So on my JTree update I talked about an amazing opportunity God gave us to have a HUGE campfire on our last night at Hidden Valley. I also mentioned that in addition to guitars, drums, recorders, percussion and tons of "general jam session" ingredients, we also had people spinning Poi. I wanted to explain to you what I meant by that and also show you a video of one of the people that spun at our campfire that evening.

"Poi", also called "fire spinning" originated with the Māori people of New Zealand (the word poi means "ball" in Māori) as a means of promoting increased flexibility, strength, and coordination -in particular, the dexterity of the wrist. It is also a exercise of movements central to the use of hand weapons, including the patu, mere, and kotiate. In Maori culture, the discipline of poi evolved into a traditional performance art practiced mostly by women. This art includes storytelling and singing choreographed to poi routines. This is a picture of students practicing.

It also happens to have been adopted by the climbing community as an additional to drum circles that tend to form around campfires. I was absolutely mesmorized, as I saw people spinning fire for the first time at the JTree campground. These are a couple of pictures of what it looked like at our campsite!

Super cool huh? The pictures hardly capture the experience! We had 3 "spinners" that evening, and I was able to capture one on video. So this is what it looked like... Enjoy! ~video failed~

People dont, however, pick up fire one day and start throwing it around just hoping they dont ignite themselves (-: People around the camp were practising with LED poi of various colors. And yes, I am the newest "wanna be". I bought a pair of "practice poi" and have been learning tricks. Not sure if I will ever pour kerosine of an authentic poi, strip off anything synthetic, and go for it- in fact I can't imagine a time when I would consider that a good idea- but its GREAT fun for now!

Three Cups of Tea in Joshua Tree

2008-11-04T00:31:00.001-08:00

Joshua Tree is the homiest campground we've stayed at since we left! I have noticed, however, that the climbing community is very much like the cultural community that Greg Mortenson spoke about in his book Three Cups of Tea (if you haven't read it, you should). Instead of cups of tea promoting you from stranger, to friend, to family... its sharing a campfire, a meal, a campsite, or a climb. We meet people once, and when we see them again along our journey, its the expectation that we share meals and meet up for climbing. Its like you are always one meeting from being friends.

Hidden Valley Campground in Joshua Tree, being almost completely filled with climbers, is no exception to this way of life. Here are pictures of some of the highlights of our time here.

We were welcomed into Ryan's home (Kristin's cousin) in 29 Palms, just outside the park. We spent some time there and I, because Kristin's ankle hadn't regained all of its strength just yet, was set on finding some climbing partners to give her time to heal...
...enter this guy. This is Lluis. He is, if you can follow, my last roommate's boyfriend's brother. I met him in Va, but he lives in Ca, and he just happened to be climbing with his "homies" the first weekend we were in JTree. I was able to climb with him and his crew for 2 days and had a blast. My favorites from that weekend were "I Smell a Rat" (10b face climb) and Unicorner (5.7 dihedral crack thing). This is Lluis showing off the wonders of his "camp hair" as he finds a Joshua Tree that resembles his "doo".

The day they left, Kristin and I decided to drive into L.A. to see our friend Kurt give a presentation on his 2nd ascent of Mt. Everest. It was an impressive slideshow full of great stories and witty humor. I keep trying to convince him to hike me up K-2 in his pack. He finally gave in on the grounds that I go do Aconcagua in Argentina with him and a client as "training". I told him I'd think about it and offered to help him train that evening. So I was "hiked" to the car and back. K-2 here we come!

Our Canadian friends Dora and Andrew (we met them in Red Rocks) came in for a few days as well and happened to leave the morning of Halloween. That didn't stop Dora from dressing up with us. She is a Halloween geisha (from the ankles all the way down). I was "something with fun green wings" and Kristin was "fireworks". It was so fun to be able to see them again!

Our friend from home, Jack came into camp early that morning- a pleasant surprise, and was able to climb with Kristin and I up "Double Cross" (5.7 crack). And let me tell you... a 5.7 crack in JTree is nothing to scoff at... especially when you are climbing it in a skirt and wings!

Even belaying becomes a new challenge in Halloween costumes!

Later, Kristin's good friend Jess joined them while I decided to play "photog". Here they have just finished "Dog Leg" (5.8 crack) and are starting "Geronimo" (5.7 overhanging crack just above Dog Leg).

This climb is practically on top of some of the campsites and the traditional way to top out this short route is to heel hook right, let go with one hand, lean back and yell "GERONIMO" (hence the name) before pulling over the ledge. This is Jess' impressive yell!

This is Jack as he pulls the top. I was so excited about the clouds though, I forgot about the huge shadow on Jack. He's there though, I promise!

After a wonderful day of climbing, the whole campground gathered the moment we started a fire. We had drums and 3 guitars. We met some amazing musicians and even got to jam to the tune of a little jazz flute. Before the night was over I believe I counted more than 20 people who had visited. It was a great night!

When people leave, though... there are dishes. Lucky for us, dishes is one of Kristin's spiritual gifts!!! She's amazing...

..and adorable. Here she is sharing a hat with Cali, her cousin Ryan's dog. She got the brim and Cali got the top! Cali and Ryan came to visit us for a day!

While they were there we got to do this awesome climb. What its called... no idea. Its on Trashcan rock and its totally a big boulder problem. Beware!

The next day: Our friend, Jess, dancing to "Gorgeous"... with Ed. (-: Ed was elated!

Kristin took me to The Bong (5.4 crack) for my first trad lead. I followed her and then decided I wasn't ready to lead it. So we took pictures of our shadows at the bottom of the climb instead of victory pictures at the top. I think the shadow shots were way cooler.

Kristin was kind enough to take me and help me work on placing gear and building anchors in hopes of coming back to the bong and conquering! I learned SO much! I totally feel confident in lead skills... just haven't found a good first route.

Haha...having had all that practice I practiced hand jams as well... in Ed's arm rests.

The next day we climbed with our friend, Kathy (we met her in Red Rocks). We had a bunch of fun on Echo: The Sound of One Shoe Tapping (5.7 slab), Bake and Flake (5.8 crack) and Pope's Crack (5.9 crack). Pope's Crack was amazing... with an adventurous descent. This is Kristin leading it!

This was our last campfire... all the fantastic music plus an alto flute, a tenor sax, and people spinning poi (whats poi? blog to follow) Almost 30 people visited us before the evenings end! What an awesome time at Joshua Tree!

Red Rock Photo Album

2008-10-22T15:20:00.000-07:00

Red Rocks... Isn't it perdy! The park is, essentially, a 13-mile loop around this canyon of red-striped rocks. Its an endless adventure for rock climbers, hikers, and canyoneers! Kristin, Brian and I arrived at Red Rocks and met up with a friend, Sue, her climbing partner, Tom, and a couple they had met on the rocks, Dora and Andrew- all of whom were awesome.

Sue left the following day so we adopted Tom and climbed Lotta Balls (4 pitch, 5.7) as two teams of two.

This is me at the first belay station. Tom and I went first and Kristin led the first pitch for her and Brian. I was excited to have company on the belay ledge.

Here is where one system becomes two. We got all of the serious work out of the way and then...

...took silly shots, of course!

This is Brian pulling a Spiderman move on pitch #2.

The next day we had a visit from our friend, Rita, from Reno. She brought 2 of her girlfriends who were new to climbing. So we went out with Dora and Andrew as well as Rita and her friends and cragged along a wall in Willow Springs (one of the many canyons). It was a great day... all had fun... (AND they shared their salami sandwhiches).

The following day we decided to play with trad stuff. Brian leads trad a bit and I have never placed a single piece of gear with the intent to actually weight it (let alone fall on it). So while Brian led a climb or two, I spent lots of time playing with Kristin's rack of cams, nuts, tricams, and TCUs to find solid placements around the base of the wall and build anchors. Kristin and Brian provided great feedback and then I decided I needed to try a climb.

My first mock trad lead. It was a 5.6, less than 100 feet long, and it took me FOREVER! But I was cool and confident the entire time...

... well almost.

Its HARD to find the right piece of gear.

But eventually I found the "like butter" placement and could move above 6-feet-off-the-ground ridiculousness.

Kristin and I went out to help her friend Mick practice with "clients" for his AMGA Rock Guide exam. This is where we were headed to climb, Mescalito (Dark Shadows, 10 pitches, 5.8)

Thanks to a mean rock, Kristin rolled her foot and sprained her ankle. She was SUCH a trooper though... she taped it, did the approach with us, and soaked it in the creek before deciding it wasn't a good idea to climb. She's amazing. Since Mick and I had lost our favorite climbing Comrad for the day, we decided Dark Shadows would wait.

This is a picture of Mick and I on Mescalito Rock, on the climb we decided to do instead (Y2K, 4 pitches 10a). You can't see us? Oh here...

... better? Im the lower climber- following Mick's awesome lead.

We met some amazing people at the campground, and on Sunday we cooked a free meal (coffee included). All were invited... 2 showed up... but they were an awesome pair (Dora and Andrew) and we definitely had enough to eat. We hope to see them again on our journey. We also enjoyed some great fellowship, prayer, and worship with some local Solid Rock members.

The BLT

2008-10-22T14:44:00.000-07:00

This was a post I wrote in 2005. I've republished for two of you who asked for it, but didn't want to deal with looking through the archives.

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Isn't it always when life gets stressful or wonderful, when emotions know no bounds, that your perspective on life is the most curious? Well perhaps, but I have decided that lack of sleep does a pretty good job too. Last night, I considered the fact that I live my life as the BLT -why, the Brave Little Toaster, of course. Yes, I did indeed, just compare myself to a fairly ordinary kitchen appliance...

Its kind of a cute kitchen appliance though... as kitchen appliances go though eh? Nice and shiny, so you can see yourself in them. You can make those fun cloudy things when ya blow your hot breath on'em (wait...if I'm a toaster I bet its morning breath...yuck)... and the cloud stays for a moment and then disappears in a flash... ya... thats always a fun game... Ya don't need batteries for a toaster. He comes with a cord... a link to his very own power supply- nifty huh? Best of all... I love the fact that toasters come with these handy dandy crumb traps. Ya... you know what I mean, all you toaster officianados. Raw toast goes in, the wires start their glowing, and all the sudden ya got crumbs fallin everywhere... but where do they go? Not all over the counter... not even the floor... oh no... they chill in THE CRUMB TRAP. Let's be honest, the inventor of this appendage must have been a gentleman and a scholar- a true Toaster Technician.

So if you were Lon right now you'd be asking, "SO What?" But you arent and you arent...so you are probably asking yourself, "Self, Brave Little Toaster was a kid's movie about personified kitchen appliances... where is she going with this?" A fair question, my friend. Relinquishing the fact that I believe it is the children of our world who see life as it really is, I shall now provide just the requested transition.

Ya see, when I think about my life I notice three things- shiny... cord... crumb trap.

Now toasters, all of them, were made for one purpose... to make toast. New ones, old ones, pea green ones from the 60's and even the crochet-covered one in Grandma's kitchen- the one that looks like its lived through a few encounters with a dishwasher (we call those Missionary Toasters... exploring strange new lands in search of untoasted toast). Well, since I can remember, nearly every person I have met describes me with the same sort of concept. Though the forms of this first impression are varied, they include, but are not limited to: energetic, peppy, obnoxiously happy, optimistic, crazy, funny, outgoing, smiley, positive, Mary Poppins and recently someone went with "its like she has rainbows coming out of her butt". So although toasters have alot of different paint jobs... I fit into a category we toasters refer to as... Shiny. I have mixed emotions about this category, but it is alas what I am and therefore all I can be. What toaster can demand a paint job? And so I exist in this annoying place between bread avoiding me cuz they dont want to see themselves in my reflection, and bread that back away cuz when the light shines on me... wow it can be slightly overwhelming to quite a few- intimidating, if you will (like waking up at 5am to the tune of a chipper roommate). Then there are those who, seeing the shiny, become shinier themselves- that is the bread for whom I was made. I guess my job isnt to toast ALL of the bread out there, but to know toast well enough to joyfully show bread all the cool stuff about toasting...

Having always wanted a tail (only the useful opposum-type tail though) I get very excited about this cord part. Hear me out! I have no excuse for this to be a topic of progressive revelation in my life but here goes- If my cord isnt plugged in, I cant make any toast. Simple huh? Now I can use the cord to lasso cookies... as fun as that would be, its not real relevant to bread. no toast. I can use that cord to trip the cat or clog the disposal... toast, party of zero. I can even go boa constrictor with it and try and squeeze the bread into toast and Im telling ya, despite all my efforts I got nothin. The ONLY time I can succeed in living up to my design is if that cord is plugged into my Power Supply! Unless I humble my toaster self to the knowledge that apart from the Power Supply I am useless, I am resigned to a nice, safe place in a cabinet... watching all the raw toast just walk on by. We have already gone over my lot in life... collecting dust aint it... so I can NEVER expect to be happy sittin on a shelf. And seriously all I have to do to be successful is to take the initiative to plug on into the Outlet, and chalk the rest up to my Manufacturer (YEAH, we toasters come with a lifetime warranty)! Yup... I'm just supposed to be brave, knowing that the Manufacturer holds the blue prints and there's not a whole lot I can do about it. Oh... here's the thing though- as much as I LOVE bread and truly cherish toasting... burnt toast happens. Shiny... yes, perfect... no. So dont look at MY shiney hiney for perfection. I make mistakes. You just look up and away at the proverbial "They" (being singular in this case)... cuz I have done my best to do what Im designed to do... and I guess my Manufacturer assumed that without a few pieces of burnt toast, we would never know what good toast looked like...

Now burnt toast wreaks havoc on my crumb trap (remember!? my fabulous crumb trap... I love this part!). Bread goes in, dial gets turned (cuz you know each piece of bread has individual toasting needs). As a toaster, hopefully, I come into contact with bread everyday... and the moment I start toastin, crumbs start a fallin. They build up and build up, and all ya gotta do is slide that sleek little shelf out, dump, and return... easy, smoothe, almost theraputic (I think they aughtta start prescribing toasters to mental health patients). But all crumbs are different, just like the toast from which crumbs fall... white, wheat, ginger, pumpernickel, sourdough. Some are nice, some are mean, some edify and some simply waste a toaster with their words... but their is no distinction in the fall, cuz they all go to the same place. Thats right... my nifty fifty, handy dandy crumb trap. Now if I do say so myself, and I do... that Manufacturer of mine sure knew what He was doin here! Cuz as a toaster... I tend to get lonely, and so its pretty tempting for me to try and keep those crumbs... even work for the praise of those crumbs... and sometimes Im even tempted to try and please those mean and crummy crumbs along with the cream of the crop. But He was thinking ahead. Ya see, the longer I keep those crumbs the harder it is for me to properly toast, and if Im worried about workin for crumbs to keep me company then Im not focused on toasting... which is the part I play in this home I call "Kitchen". And so, knowing that these crumbs are only temporary companions, to be whisked away every 20 or 30 toasts, I find myself left with one resolve... to single-mindedly toast. To be content, overjoyed, and completely fulfilled in my toasting, knowing that I was made for it and trusting that my Manufacturer had a supremely marketable plan. That's the kind of toaster I long to be.

So when I dont appreciate my shiny self, sitting on my shelf with my cord between my propper-uppers, refusing to part with my crumbs... I get sent to the Toaster Technician. And although I come back ready and willing to toast, let me tell ya, the process hurts. And so toast I will, and toast I shall, cuz Im a Brave Little Toaster and although I am required to love bread, I love it too much to leave it that way.

Terms Defined

2008-10-16T19:23:00.001-07:00

For all those who don't climb but read my blog, I realized a few definitions might be helpful. I will make it fun and include photos from our trip to Owens River George in Bishop, Ca to help out. Im going to start with a paragraph to give a bit of context to these terms. All words in bold will be defined below. Ready?

Sport Lead Climbing vs. Top Rope Climbing
We hiked down to Owens River George and picked our single-pitch route. Kristin lead climbed the route, clipping the rope into bolts as she climbed. When she reached the top she set-up an anchor on the top bolts, and then the belayer (me) lowered her back down. I followed her route on top rope and cleaned all of her quickdraws as I climbed. When I got to the top I secured myself to the bolts at the top so that I could run the rope through the chains and rappel to the bottom.

Pitch- a pitch is a steep section of a route that requires a rope between two belays, as part of a climbing system. Standard climbing ropes are between 45 and 60 metres long, so a pitch is always shorter, between two convenient ledges if possible; longer routes are multi-pitch, requiring the re-use of the rope each time.

Lead Climbing- Climbing without pre-placed anchor above you. It is the technique used to ascend a route. Lead climbers are attached to the rope and use quickdraws to "clip in" to bolts along the route. Lead climbing is more dangerous than top rope climbing because if a climber falls he falls double the length to the last bolt he clipped into. Notice Kristin's rope is coming with her from the bottom and also notice the quickdraws she has placed and "clipped into" as she climbs.

Clipping- when a lead climber places quickdraws into bolts along a route and then "clips" the rope into the quickdraw. This draw then acts as the anchor that will catch a fall until the lead climber "clips into" the next bolt. Kurt has placed his quickdraw in the bolt he has climbed up to and is pulling up the rope to clip it in.

Bolt- is a permanent anchor fixed into a hole drilled in the rock While sport climbing, these bolts are always pre-set. In traditional (or trad) climbing, you set your own temporary "bolts" as you climb (using nuts, cams, hexes etc).

Anchor- one of a variety of systems climbers set up with the goal of stopping a fall or holding a static load.

Belayer- belaying is the technique of controlling the rope with the use of various devices so that a falling climber falls as short a distance as possible. In this picture I am getting ready to climb on top rope. Kristin is my belayer. The rope is attached to her harness, runs up to the anchor she set when she lead climbed, and back down to attach to my harness.

Top Rope (climbing)- is a style in climbing in which the rope runs from a belayer at the foot of a route through one or more carabiners connected to an anchor system at the top of the route and back down to the climber. Because the anchor is above the climber, if he falls he typically only falls as far as the rope stretches.This is a picture of me climbing on top rope(the safe kind of climbing, Mom). Notice the rope comes from the anchor system above me and my belayer controls the slack in my rope from the other end of the rope (as seen above).

Quickdraws- used by rock climbers to connect the climbing rope to bolt anchors or other protection, while lead climbing

Chains- literal chains hanging from the bolts at the top of the climb (sometimes also called rap rings or rappel rings). Climbers run the rope through these chains (middle of the rope sits on the rings) and then use a device to control their descent of the climb.

Rappel- is the controlled descent down a rope. Since the rope is not held by any of the climbers' personal gear, but is running through the chains at the top, the climbers can pull the rope and go on to the next climb.

To Ponder...

2008-10-15T20:58:00.001-07:00

I have been reading through Romans of late, and this bit of Scripture was just too powerful to pass up. I've been re-reading it for days now.

Romans 14 (in bits and pieces)

1...Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. One man's faith frees him to eat everything, but another man's faith allows only vegetables. The man who eats everything must NOT look down on the man who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must NOT condemn the man who does, for GOD has accepted him...

10... You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before GOD's judgment seat. It is written, "As surely as I live, says the Lord, every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God." (Isaiah 45:23)

13... Therefore, let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean then, for him, it is. If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love... 17... For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness, peace, and joy...

19...Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and mutual edification.

15:5...May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify God our Father... 7...Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. For I tell you that Christ has become a servant of the Jews on behalf of God's truth, to confirm the promises made to the patriarchs so that the Gentiles may glorify God for his mercy, as it is written:

"Therefore I will praise you among the Gentiles." (2 Samuel 22:50)
"Rejoice, Oh Gentiles with His people." (Deut 32:43)
And again Isaiah says"
"The Root of Jesse will spring up, one who will arise to rule over the nations; the Gentiles will hope in him." (Isaiah 11:10)

May God (who is) hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the holy spirit.

Lacos

2008-10-15T09:51:00.000-07:00

Its a once-familiar street
Its a surprise at the end of the pier
Its an unvague memory
That, at last, becomes clear.

Its a shiny square of paper
Its keys hidden in the sand
Its a rollerblading duo
Its a friend, a favorite band.

Its being once-again wistful
As the waves chuckle and splash
Its a home where I was welcomed
Its a little girl's laugh

Its a cold hand in a pocket
Its a warm hand at your heart
Its a promised happy ending
At a long-awaited start

Its ice cream at a table
Its Scripture on the fries
Its danced in some strange places
Its the excitement in their eyes

Its the writing on the pita
Its the sailboats waltzing by
Its the things that make me laugh
Its the things that make me cry

Its real-life paradise that flies
Its the "Seussy" fluff on trees
Its a drive that takes forever
Its the sunset on the beach

Its all bare feet and sandals
Its a bike without its gears
Its the shuffling little sanderlings
Its the moments, its the years

Our Vacation in Seqoia National Park

2008-10-14T14:49:00.000-07:00

So the title says things like "vacation" and "park" and THIS is a picture of me in a laundromat. Yup. So here is the formula. Cold weather+leaking camelback = tour of park laundromat.

(Myself, Darin-Kristin's brother, Brian, and Kristin... look how SHORT I am...)
Here we are! Clothes dry. Finally ready to go! Four days in the backcountry. A ranger had mentioned something about it being a bit chilly... eh, we were excited about all that the adventure promised. We started hiking, sharing our favorite jokes, and even playing some impressive "20 questions"...and it was good. Notice the sun here.

We hiked for a bit in the sun, trying to put on and shed layers dependent upon 1) amount of shade in a given area and 2) wind speed in an effort to avoid sweating. After playing for a bit it started snowing... yup... snowing...

I passed when it was my turn to make snow angels. Here I am shown with 7 layers on top and 4 layers on bottom. I can remember only a handful of times I have been colder. One was when I swam in Sandbeach Lake... in Estes Park Colorado... in May! We later found out it got down to 19 degrees that night- 30 degrees colder than expected.

We froze all night and then, when we finally gathered enough courage to emerge, we were greeted by the sun and a beautiful view of Heather Lake. So we left everything in the sun to thaw and cooked an amazing breakfast of apples, and brown sugar. This is me shaking off my tent... this is how short people have to do such things.

Why let impending hypothermia steal your joy? Sun on our backs, joy in our hearts, we decided to stick with it, have fun, and keep hiking!

What seemed like minutes after that last picture was taken... this happened.

We weren't gonna let the freezing cold steal our fun! We converged in my tent, stuffed it with layers and sleeping bags and played cards late into the evening... and most of the next day. Euchre, Spades, and THIS is me winning like 14 cards from Brian in a game of ERS. For all of you ERS fans who are, at this moment, questioning the level of awe this deserves, the stack included 2 aces, 2 queens, a king, and a jack. I think Brian is weeping in this picture.

This is a picture at Pear Lake. It was all kinds of gorgeous! See that peak in the background? Its Alta Peak. To make up for our laziness the previous day, we thought we'd try and summit.

This is me about 8 months pregnant with my down coat. It was one of many ways I attempted the scramble hands-free.

Now, all the beta we had gotten said it was 2nd class scrambling til the top where it became 3rd class for a couple hundred feet. We didn't listen, though. We somehow managed to summit the shorter peak to the left doing 3rd and 4th class scree scrambling and boulder hopping in the snow and ending with a short 5.4 climb. YEAH!!!!

Darin and Kristin enjoying the well-earned view at the top.

During this craziness, Brian had been carrying most of our water and all of our layers in his huge pack. He is seriously worth 5 or 6 sherpas. So after making our way back down, I decided to try on the pack. If you will notice, the waist belt is mid-thigh on me.

Having been inspired by our adventure, we decided to get in some bouldering (in all of our layers). We decided it was too cold for a sit start.

YAY!

Its amazing how creative you can become in the wilderness. I say this because, having topped out on the boulder I couldn't get down. In the face of such dilemma, however, we thought it'd be fun to see how far I could jump at the guys. It was like a reenactment of cheerleading cavemen. They caught me.

Having taken 3 days to hike through the snow to Pear Lake, it took us 2.5 hours to hike back to the trailhead. It was sunny and beautiful the entire time. Upon re-entering society, we immediately made our way to the nearest In-N-Out...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Holy Cap...

2008-10-01T17:53:00.000-07:00

...was the phrase that raced from my lips as our clumsy red van turned the corner on El Capitan in Yosemite.

I've spent a decent amount of my life in the Rockies. I love, and yet have grown somewhat used to the jagged peaks rising from the flatlands. However, when I was face to face with this magnificent piece of rock, it was a completely different experience.

As we turned the corner, the sheer face- the longest in the world, rises straight up from among the pines and yellow grasses. Clean and almost untextured for 34 pitches by climbers' measurements ( 3,300 feet). Along its baseline, the valley floor rises from4,269 to 7,569 feet. Though standing along this point, 3,000 feet is a meaningless number. Its more dramatic than your mind can understand.

You can't take your eyes off of it. You just stare and feel small. The experience isn't so much like looking out at the ocean from the beach, but more like staring up at 100 foot waves from a ship in the midst of a storm. Its startling, and fearsome, and beautifully humbling. It demands your respect.

If you've ever experience whitewater then you understand the kind of power that nature possesses. I have listened to people discuss the beauty of Great Falls using words and phrases shared by those describing El Capitan. Beautiful... absolutely. Its an honest observation, but the first time you are IN whitewater, the beauty is drowned out by the unimagined power of the water. Your helplessness is handed to you on a platter and you have crystal clear perspective on your own strength. If you fight the water, you will lose. Period.

If you have known the water intimately enough to be afraid, then you know it well enough to be filled with humility and respect in its presence. Its the only appropriate response.

Some things in this world, by their very nature, deserve this kind of immediate respect. Its interesting to me, though that our minds are incapable of truly grappling with the power of things like this until we interact with them. The waves are "pretty" until they are tossing us about like playground balls. The mountain is "lovely" until we are freezing on a ledge 2,000 feet up, covered in the 10 inches of snow. Then it becomes a bit more than "pretty" and a bit more involved than "lovely. Its not until our body is made useless, until all of our strength is laid aside like a father pins his 2-year-old son, that our minds begin to really understand the limits of our own strength and the seemingly limitless power we are facing. Its not until this point, in our fear and awe, that true humility and respect are developed. I believe its exactly this kind of humilty David begged God for when he said, "Lead me to a rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2

Most people aren't a fan of fear. They don't seek it out. But all of these experiences with moving water, with mountains, even with my parents have been good lessons. The fear I have experienced has taught me so much, humbled me, garnered respect in me for nature, broadened my perspective, guided me into and prepared me for future adventures, while keeping me safe. I would never ask to go back and avoid them.

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Because of the amazing love, neverending grace, and relentless forgiveness I have experienced from God, I have always been excited to talk to people about Him. I've had some super fun and very educational discussion with people from a huge myriad of backgrounds: Christians, Buddists, people who follow Judaism, Islam, or Hinduism, Atheists, Agnostics, Wiccans, Mormons, Catholics, those who follow Goddess teachings and the list goes on and on. Its been amazing to learn from each of these people and engage is fantastic spiritual conversations. One trend I have noticed that people aren't comfortable with concerning what the Bible says about God have to do with this verse.

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline." Proverbs 1:7

I've talked to quite a few people who really dislike the idea of a god who wants us to be afraid of him. I've never had an answer. I've know that God's desire isn’t for us to be scared, but it wasn't until I met El Cap that I understood how to explain the difference. God's heart is to teach us, humble us in a healthy way, to garner respect in us, to broaden our perspective, to guide us into good decisions and to prepare us for future adventures, while keeping us safe. The BIGness of God, His power, His majesty, His strength motivates us to learn about Him, to gain knowledge of His character, and the wisdom he has for our lives. And as we learn He teaches us all of those things… because He loves us.

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El Cap is big. Its so big that trying to find “bigger” adjectives to describe it seems futile. And because I have experienced the power of rocks, more specifically the power of gravity and weather, I could appreciate the beauty while responding with absolute respect. El Cap’s BIGness reminded me how small I was in a good way. The thought of being thousands of feet in the air climbing pitches far beyond my ability level terrified me even as I stood on the ground. Now there are people who are capable of climbing the face safely. They’ve dedicated years of their lives to gain the skill, the gear, and the knowledge. Knowledge that they never would have gained had they not been awed, humbled and a bit scared at the power they faced as they stood beside El Cap and realized how small they were.

If the BIGness of El Cap provokes the quest for such knowledge, how much more the humbling BIGness of God, Himself.

Yosemite Photos

2008-10-01T15:24:00.000-07:00

This is our arrival in Tuolumne, the climbing area near the pass before driving down into "The Valley" of Yosemite. Ed (our van) was helping me get as much elevation as possible! Its as tall as Im EVER going to be!

On the first day of the clean-up we found a few "strays" (Jake and Jillian) to help us pick up trash along 120. Dont we look AMAZING with our vests and trash pickers!

Each evening, everyone weighed in their trash in hopes of a BIG TOTAL at the end of the week. Jillian and I were fighting over the cone. It wasnt trash at all, but it weighed ALOT.

Jillian took us to a great 2 pitch crack climb on "the apron" up the Monday Morning slab (5.7/5.8). On the way up, Kristin was perfecting her loud whistle. Here she is working on "Happy Birthday". Hey Brian... I promised I'd teach her! Intimidation works!

I stitched together (poorly) a few of the pictures I took from the Apron climb. Half Dome (23 pitches) is peeking out on the right. Across from the summit of Half Dome is a smaller peak called North Dome. Just beneath North Dome (a bit to the right) is a classic climb, Royal Arches (16 pitches). Further left than this picture extends is El Capitan (shown below).

This is El Capitan (34 pitches). Its absolutely unbelievable. Its first ascent took 47 days. Recently a speed climbing record was recorded. The Huber brothers just did it in 2 hours and 43 minutes. There are 6 climbers on El Capitan in this picture. Can you find them? You can't. I promise. IT'S HUGE!

We decided to climb the base of El Capitan just to experience the massive rock. We did the first pitch of a classic climb called "The Nose". This crack was GREAT! Its called Pine Line (5.8).On Sunday, we were able to have an informal worship time. The Mulkey family and a few other Solid Rockers (Melissa and Rita) joined us. Afterwards we were able to climb around in church bowl. Ed went to the shop, again. Praise God, the last two times we have taken him to the shop supporters have offered to pay for the repairs. Thank you.

This is some of the trash that was drug in at the Facelift. By the end of the week more than 600 climbers had brought in more than 50,000lbs of trash from all over Yosemite! I'm still confused about how they used those orange trash pickers to pick up 2 satellite dishes...

That evening we had a semi-private concert with Josh Ritter (they let me sit in the front row so I could see). Never heard of him before... HE IS AMAZING! His music is fun but his lyrics are great and he giggled through the entire concert. He was having fun... it was fantastic! We even got to meet him and chat for a bit after the concert. It proved to be a fantastic opportunity to connect with quite a few people. Some amazing people!

Jake, Dan, myself, and Jillian... the Yellow Pines Crew... on the last night of the Facelift. I had 20 or so people trying to catch one of those red REI shirts for me, and then the gentleman sitting next to me just walked up to the stage and asked for one. I was SO excited!!!! Jillian immediately added to my joy by accessorizing me with the bandana and skirt. (-:

Kristin, appropriately accessorized by Jillian, to tell her favorite joke about pirates.

Back: Jillian and Melissa
Front: myself, Kristin, and Rita

Hopefully we will be able to meet up with Jake, Jillian, and Rita again before the end of our trip.
Now off to stay with the Mulkey family, then back to Tuolumne to climb all 5 pitches of West Crack (5.5-5.9) with a friend of Kristin's. Then off to Bishop.

Proud sister...

2008-10-01T10:05:00.000-07:00

Just got a phone call from my little brother, Mark today. It made my day.

Because of some interesting circumstances he, the freshman kicker for Carmel High School, will have the chance to kick off for the varsity team this Friday.

What really impressed me most about the conversation was his excitement, his humility and the fact that he recognized this opportunity as a blessing.

I love you, brother!

At His Feet...

2008-09-23T11:14:00.000-07:00

We don't tell people about Jesus because WE love them, we tell them because HE loves them more than we possibly could. We LOVE people because He loves us more than they possibly could.

City of Rocks

2008-09-20T13:33:00.001-07:00

On the way to the City of Rocks with a cracked radiator. We "topped off" our coolant at every opportunity, but we made it!!!!

Checking out the view as we arrived at Castle Rock in the morning. Its magnificent!!
Kristin getting ready to rappel off a climb in the Cleft Palace.

Kristin making a mess after an interesting self-rescue lesson for me at the bottom of the crag.
Some boulderers walking with their crash pads. Doesnt it look like the crash pads have legs? I LOVE that. We "stalked" them to get this picture on the way to the parking lot.

At the end of the day we were tired. But not too tired to offer chips and salsa to the boulderers (previous picture) and have a nice impromptu gathering in the parking lot!

For those of you who think I'm hardcore... reality check!

2008-09-20T13:00:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of my initial reaction to my first crack climb. Remember I've decided at this point that I really don't like slab climbing. So Kristin and Stephen were nice enough to change things up and put me on a crack climb... ya.

Good days and bad days...

2008-09-20T12:54:00.000-07:00

Two Days in the City of Rocks

Wednesday...
1) Woke up. Counted 27 flies in the van. Thats 26 more than I counted in the outhouse.
2)Cried ALL the way up a 5.8 lead climb called Roller Coaster
3) Slowly but surely made it to the top of Roller Coaster...terrified and shaking.
4) I cant feel my fingertips for the crazy 5.11 I was on yesterday
5) The mechanic we found to fix our radiator has a pretty sad situation unfolding in his life. He cant work on our van until Saturday
6) Got to take a shower today!!! Forgot my towel...
7) Tried to do Shock and Awe (5.10) with Stephen and Kristin, couldn't hack the hike, the tricky approach, and didn't even attempt the climb. Tweaked my shoulder on the way down.
8) Don't enjoy slab climbs at all. So I tried my first real crack climb. I started to love slab climbs.
9) There is one place here in the City of Rocks where you can get a phone signal- if you park on the side of the road, face north, stand on your left foot, and hop in circles-sometimes.
10) While I was at the general store trying to get work done and failing miserable, a guy came by with some gorgeous quarter horses and I missed my chance to ride.

At the end of the day I felt worked, worthless and defeated. And I tried my best to keep a stiff upper lip. At some moments I succeeded. At some moments I failed.

The next 24 hours...
1) Got to see a gorgeous sunrise... didnt see a single fly in the van.
2) I met George, the guy who started Rock and Ice magazine- great sense of humor.
3) Did my first multi-pitch route, Fruit Pie (5.7), with Kristin and George.
4) Did my first hanging belay and my first 2 pitch rappel (using 2 ropes).
5)Taught Kristin how to do the loud whistle (George is still working on it, but he has promise)
6) Hung out at a natural hot spring. My shoulder... my whole body... loves me again.
7) We found a place in the City of Rocks that has internet AND ice cream... Im giddy!
8) Lead climbed that same 5.8 with confidence. No tears. Took care of my own rappel and cleaning.
9) Needed a bit of rest from climbing. Went out to a quarter horse farm and helped herd and trailor all the colts and fillies for auction. The farm owner offered me a job.
10) Helped Dottie give her dogs a bath under the water pump. Had a great dinner and hung out with strangers/friends around the camp fire.

At the end of the day I felt tired for good reason, excited about what I was learning, appreciative for where I am at, and generally felt like my day was worthwhile.

Its at times like these, when I look back at my journal that I realize how dependent my attitude is on my own personal successes, failures, enjoyments, and discomfort. My prayer for this trip would be that God would teach me to be satisfied in each and every circumstance that I confront. Not just sort-of satisfied and accepting, but completely satisfied. I pray that He would teach me to be satisfied in Him, and to be joyful no matter what life throws at me.

Philippians 4:4-7
4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Are YOU my mother?

2008-09-11T16:42:00.000-07:00

So do y'all remember that book? The one where the baby bird goes around asking all sorts of animals and construction equipment if they happen to be his mother. Well this blog has nothing to do with that book at all, except that we found something driving on the road to Utah that we just couldnt place- no matter the kind of creativity we invoked. And so Im asking you... anyone and everyone who happens to read this blog. What ARE these for????????
Seriously, it was like driving next to a 5.10 crack climb. I really need to hear from you guys... I will give points for most creative and also for most probable.

The VOO, Baby!

2008-09-10T17:15:00.000-07:00

This super cool rock formation is called the Nautilus. Cool cracks!

So in between finding parts at the salvage yards and being educated on fuel lines, mem cals, ECMs, and the fundamentals of electricity we carved some time for refreshment in Vedauwoo (since repairs had wiped the place from our schedule). And after some pretty adventurous driving we found a spot to camp where you couldn't hear, see, or perceive in any way that there was another human on the face of the earth. It was lovely.

Things we hold dear

2008-09-08T23:56:00.001-07:00

So for the last week in a half or so, Kristin and I have had the opportunity to learn patience, flexibility, trust, thankfulness, and faith through a few issues with our van. Its been quite the ordeal, but our van (now named... Abednego like bed'n'go haha, I love that) now runs well and we are ready to be off early Tuesday morning. Plans have had to change, some even canceled, and as we head off its amazing to look back and think of all the things that have become dear to me during our time on the Schaffner farm.

1) Feeding the horses: 2 flakes of hay for the Kiowa and Taffy and some oats and 1/2 flake for Willow (the miniature horse).
2) Amazing meals offered with love and joyous hospitality
3) The smell of horses, oats, saddles, and hay. Its like living in a flood of childhood memories.
4) Lilly the barn cat/snuggle bug
5) The war: us vs. the flies
6) A barking terrier
7) Chasing ducks
8) Catching ducks
9) Sunsets over cornfields
10) Mealtime with the girls
11) A request to play piano containing lots of "t"s and no "k"s... precious. She thinks I can play the piano... thats awesome!
12) The hammock
13) Driving "into town", country roads and tractors
14) Climbing on fences and gates
15) Irrigation ditches (apparently no good for kayaking... dang it)
16) Crisp Colorado mornings
17) The roundpin
18) Learning to sit a trot... I had a great teacher... Thanks Leanne
19) Having fun interpreting between the languages of western riding and english riding: headstalls, lope, the horn etc. and trying to figure out the tack (I've been laughed out by horses on quite a few occasions...)
20) Watching Cora and Adelynn ride with her Daddy

I miss living on a farm. This place has been such a blessing. I love how God's plans are always so much better than our own. I never would have asked for or expected any of this, but it has been a sweet time. Its a time I will hold dear.

Beauty for Ashes

2008-09-03T21:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we pray in words. Sometimes we pray in songs. Sometimes we pray in tears. Sometimes we pray in laughter. Sometimes we pray in service. And sometimes we pray with the words of the prophets. We were praying today and God gave us the words of the prophet Isaiah to meditate on. Its a beautiful piece of Scripture and yet as I read the words I started laughing... delighted in the words I was reading.

Isaiah 61
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, ^[a]

2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

You see, I couldn't get that phrase out of my head... beauty for ashes... beauty for ashes... And I started putting them to a melody that faintly rang through my head... grasping for the rest of the words. And I just couldn't stop smiling.

I was reminded of the annoying tendency I have to sing my own words to songs. Its not that I think my words are better, I just have a ridiculously lousy memory. Some people think its funny and don't say anything. But the best is when I do it in the presence of those people who really KNOW the right words and find themselves having to correct me. Its my favorite time because, in God's eyes, both sides of the lyric war must be beautiful.

I believe He created me... not to pay attention to detail, or be known for a decent memory, or even to be able to follow a written set of directions very well... but boy did He make me to be a joyful, easily amused, often delighted, creative person. He must love that. He must love that I can, even in the presence of strangers, go off on my own little self-entertaining lyrical tangent. He must love that I can sing through the Psalms and through passages in Isaiah, making up melodies and playing with the words and phrases. He must love that I dont spend my time criticizing myself because I havent memorized every word, but that I have the concepts hidden in my heart enough to dwell in His presence even when His words arent in front of me.

But He must also take so much joy in those He DID create to notice and memorize detail. People who memorize songs and passages in their entirety, who would prefer step-by-step instructions and could follow them to the "t". He must love that those people pour over these words, and understand their importance completely, and appreciate the specific grammar and words choices. He must appreciate their attention to the detail He was so intentional to create!

And I laughed as I envisioned God smiling down on me now... just as He had the first time I had come up with my own set of words for the Shane and Shane song I was currently struggling to hum. And just as He had when the person sitting next to me had reminded me of the words Shane and Shane had borrowed from Isaiah 61...

beauty for ashes a garment of praise for my heaviness beauty for ashes take this heart of stone and make it Yours i delight myself in the Richest of Fair trading all that i've had for all that is better a garment of praise for my heaviness You are the greatest taste You're the richest of fair

At His Feet...

2008-09-02T20:41:00.000-07:00

Any situation can become a stumbling block OR a stepping stone.

At His Feet...

2008-09-01T21:23:00.000-07:00

Dont pray for rain until you are holding an umbrella.

Tender Map Moment

2008-08-26T14:14:00.001-07:00

Its cemented into my memory. Almost word for word. I was asking my mother how to get to Butler University, just as I had each previous Tuesday and Thursday evening for 3 months. The goal was simply to arrive at the Butler Conservatory in order to attend private flute lessons. It sounds simple, considering Butler is a mere 20 minutes from where we lived, but the pasta bowl of highways, interstates, and one-way streets had routinely been drops of hazy confusion splattered in my head, and my 17-year old hormonal self had become increasingly frustrated. I hated driving for this very reason, and was probably the ONLY 17-year-old who would have preferred driving with her mother.

Now my mother is a patient person, but after three months her innate sense of direction (which I could only understand as directional "perfect pitch") was just as frustrated as I was with my cluelessness when it came to all things navigational. So after three months of this direction-giving tradition, which fit perfectly into the definition of insanity, she tried a different tactic. My mother's response didnt mention turns and landmarks this time. She sighed, looked and me, and grabbed a piece of paper...

"Ok, Gretchen. This is what you need to understand. 465 is a circle around Indianapolis. 65 runs north to south through that circle and 70 runs east and west through the circle. This (making a dot) is where we live. And this (dot #2) is where you will find Butler."

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh! Well WHY didn't you just say that to BEGIN with!? (followed by the typical teenage moan of annoyance, I am sure)"

In order to explore Indianapolis in a way that allowed for mistakes and detours, didnt NEED all the details, I needed a solid framework.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If my mother had continued to drive me to lessons (as I would have liked her to do), or given me directions week after week, I never would have learned how to the interstates around Indianapolis. It may be a corny connection, but I was really touched this week when I realized that, in my life, I often tend to get frustrated with God when He doesnt just TELL me how to get where I am going: what Im going to do in January, where Im going to live, if I should sign up with Frontiers full-time. And I often ask for His guidance, and then turn my focus to other things or people, and then blame Him for the mistakes I make because I wasnt paying attention to what He was saying. And the love that He has poured out in giving me that guidance has oftentimes been missed.

If this trip has done nothing else, it has cemented in me the fact that God always only gives us what we need when we need it (prayers have been answered before they've been spoken, strangers have offered their homes to us again and again, after months of searching... a van popped up the day before we needed to leave, the connections with the people we've met have been uncanny, Ive met more honest mechanics in the last two weeks than I have in the last 27 years, I got a registration without a local address, and we havent even left Colorado) . We may not always agree with God's definition of need, but His perspective, much like His timing, is perfect. And my life becomes more balanced, more peaceful, and more effective, when I can trust in His guidance.

Last week was the first week back for my co-workers at Mantua in Virginia. And I remember thinking how CRAZY God was when He suggested I quit my job and join Kristin. I didnt know how I was going to pay bills, if I could raise support, if I could pay-off my car, if I would ever be able to return to Mantua, if I could handle leaving people I love like family... I can say that most of the questions I had were answered in God's provision as He guided me to Colorado. Some of them werent, though. I guess I dont need to know those answers just yet. I believe He has led me to one of the greatest adventures of my life, one of the greatest blessings of my life,one of the greatest educations of my life and as scared and frustrated as I get some days, I believe that tomorrow He will tell me and provide for me everything I need for that day.

Saga of a van OR God's crazy provision plan

2008-08-26T14:13:00.001-07:00

God provided a van... yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

God provided the Price family to volunteer to build shelves into it.

God provided a horse farm and the Schaffner family to stay with on the way to Wyoming!

Van needed some tires and a window fixed. God provided amazingly honest mechanics, cheap parts, the Schaffners, and Brian's perfectly timed visit to help.

Work is done. FINALLY ready to start out on the road. We say goodbye. Van doesnt start.
We need it towed. So we call AAA who, at the mention of "fuel line" immediately call the fire department to "clean up the spill". They came, sirens on, dressed for danger and laughed when they arrived. The Schaffner girls loved it!
Van gets towed. She looks sad huh? I think she didn't start because she might be upset with us because we havent named her yet. Any ideas?

God called us to hang out with and bless rock climbers. Havent seen many yet, but its been an amazing time of watching God provide people to stay with, children to play with, showers, parts, honest mechanics, visitors, pets. I've slept in a different place almost every night for the last week, and somehow it feels homey. Its also been amazing to watch God put us in places so that we can bless people in specific ways. We've been able to do lots of dishes for women with multiple kids, we've been able to provide dinners out to two families as a 'thank you' for their help and hospitality, we've been able to entertain children for a few short periods of time so that moms can get things done, we've been able to encourage, and love on, and cook with people and even offer to provide a "date night" for a couple who rarely gets out for lack of childcare. For an on-the-road missionary team, we've done lots less on-the-roading than we thought...

Proverbs 16:9
In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

So we decided to go try out a few other options for vehicles...at the mall (near the mechanic).

After a few hours of working and analyzing and trying to replace parts, the mechanic has told us that the fuel line is still leaking, and he has no idea why it wont start. He has exhausted all of his resources and we will have to tow it somewhere else. In a small town that means we will be waiting until Monday morning for another mechanic to look at it. But monday is Labor Day (YAAAY no work for y'all) so it looks like Tuesday at the earliest, which changes a few plans. So please keep us in your prayers. Praise God we have a great family to stay with, that Brian is here to help out, that the mechanics around here are amazingly honest, and that we both have AAA for towing. Pray that we can continue to have good attitudes, be flexible, smile often, bless this family and perhaps do some Colorado climbing, and that we can get the van fixed and in working order as quickly and inexpensively as possible! Thanks!

PhotoJournal: National Conference

2008-08-25T15:30:00.001-07:00

Today I...

2008-08-20T15:53:00.001-07:00

1) Saw the most BEAUTIFUL police officer. I think a stunning woman holstering 2 guns is notable.
2) Got Colorado License Plates.
3) Heard the life story of my new insurance agent (who advises against buying VWs).
4) Got a P.O.Box... first time for everything.
5) Received a box that looked like it had been torn through by a bear. Even the postal workers looked like they were afraid of what might have happened to its contents (everything is safe and sound. Thank you Ginny).
6) I took pictures of the sailboats on Lake Dillon with the mountains in the background... wow.
7) Ate cookies for breakfast AND lunch... yikes.
8) Insured a vehicle I dont yet own.
9) Saw video of a penguin being knighted in Edinburgh (SIR Nils Olav).
10) Got stopped by an elderly man in the parking lot who asked what my (Virginia) plates meant (AVNIEL- God is my rock- its the name Moses used for God after He parted the Red Sea). Turns out he is from Va. Came to Colorado, met his wife, and settled down long ago. Also turns out he used to be in a band. Like a real band. He even pulled out these black and white photos, clearly well-loved to show off his amazing Beatles hair and even more fabulous suit. He was the lead guitar. Now, he was happy to say, he goes to Starbucks 3 mornings a week to entertain the off-to-workers in hopes of making their days a little brighter. How great is THAT? I plan on visiting Starbucks tomorrow morning.

This Week

2008-08-19T22:22:00.000-07:00

This last week has been hard. Its been hard for a few reasons. Its been hard because all the "adjustment" to a new lifestyle in a new state has decided to hit me all at once. Its been hard because we've spent nearly every day since we got to Dillon in front of laptops, doing all the work that must be done before we head out of civilization: setting up outreaches, contacting people, getting a car, jumping through hoops so we can title and register said car etc. Its been hard for me because even though I work all day, staying inside a house makes me feel worthless. And its been hard because this is the part of my job that I am NOT gifted at, so I feel...clumsy most of the day. Im having to really ask God for help just to be nice. Its an unusual place for me. (-:

But this week has been good because in this sterile, laborious, and constricted setting, Kristin and I have gotten to know one another pretty well for such a short amount of time. This week has been good because we've gotten to figure out strengths and weakness and how we can support one another effectively. This week has been good because of all the amazing opportunities to pray with each other. This week has been good because we have gotten to begin each day with worship (I play this little hiking guitar and look like a traveling minstrel- its hilarious)! Its been a good week because God keeps showing me that I am so blessed to be doing this with such an amazing woman! This week has been good because I have gotten 2 packages from friends back home in Virginia. Its been good because of the amazing people I have met, and the strangers that just keep welcoming me to their homes! And this week has been great because, for all the crying I've done, I wouldn't trade what God is teaching me for anything! The Bible says that when we are weak, He (God) is strong. I've known that to be true for quite some time, and have experienced His strength during the weakest times throughout my lifetime, just as He promises. He has never let me down. But no one is ever really "done" learning that lesson. Amen? Its been a crazy week.

So, Im excited for next week!

By then, God willing, the way-too-intimate relationship with my laptop will have paid off. I will be a resident of Colorado, I will have a P.O. box (its too cold even for mailmen up here in Dillon), Kristin and I will have a vehicle, titled, registered, and insured, we will have done our first outreach/gathering at Clear Creek Canyon (Saturday), we will have our schedule set for the next 4 months, and we will be headed to Greely and Vedauwoo (both of which promise fantabulousness)!

Thanks for your encouragement, prayers, and support! Y'all ROCK!

At His Feet...

2008-08-18T11:25:00.000-07:00

Blaming God in the midst of devastation is like running from shelter in a storm.

At His Feet

2008-08-16T18:25:00.000-07:00

The word "evangelist" comes from the word "angel".

Oh NO it didnt!!

2008-08-16T10:16:00.000-07:00

Oh YES it did!

It SNOWED today, August 16, seriously!

At His Feet...

2008-08-15T10:35:00.000-07:00

Find your security, for there your storm will surely happen.

At His Feet...

2008-08-14T10:34:00.000-07:00

Love is an act of endless forgiveness.

Evangidriving?

2008-08-11T11:52:00.000-07:00

Friends, supporters, curious guests...
I have a story that will amuse and perhaps even befuddle you.

The scene of the story is set in Rocky Mountain National Park. The line-up for the day... 7am-Work the shoe demo at Lumpy Ridge with the rep from FMTech. 11am- Training for Solid Rock. Later- Hike to Sandbeach Lake. Hand-out invitations to climbers for the presentation by Craig DeMartino that evening. 630pm-Eat Dinner. 730pm-Attend Presentation. 930pmFight for Schwag. 10pm-Drive friend to her car. Later-Return to Glacier Basin. Finally- Crash.

Those were the expected events for the day. The event of interest, however, happened not because of proper planning, or skilled scheduling, but because of bad driving.

Enter lights, sirens, and a tiffed (and slightly anxious) park ranger.

The driver of our car, being 18 and blinded by the lights of the tailgating ranger had, apparently crossed the double yellow on more than one occasion over the course of the last half-mile. And from my vantage point in the backseat this is the interaction to which I was privy.

"Drivers License?"
"Ummm... I think its in my climbing pack in the trunk."
"The trunk? Hmmmm. Any weapons back there?"
"A knife, but its for camping." (Yup, he really said that. We have since educated him on better responses.)
"Alcohol? Drugs?"
"No, sir"
"Can you get your licesnse for me?"

It is here I should stop and tell you that the alleged drivers license was never produced from the gnarled mess of packs and camping gear. It is also a good time to mention that the ranger took this opportunity to call-in the license information and, apparently, alert the entire park of the crazy drunk climbers he was dealing with, asking for the "back-up" he clearly needed to handle the situation.

"Where are you guys camping?"
"Glacier Basin."
"What Campsite?"
"The Group Camping. Site #12."
"With what group?"
"Ummm... Solid... Rock."
"I see." (flashlight shines brightly on the face of our mostly-still-asleep front seat passenger- who begrudgingly urges his head toward the light, eyes squinted, and face complete with traces of drool) "
Your buddy ok?"
(I couldnt take it anymore. I piped in.) "We were at a conference."
(Flashlight in my face)"I see. "
"Craig DeMartino was speaking tonight at Town Hall" (Still me)
"OHHHHHHHH... You guys are with Solid Rock Climbers for CHRIST."

I admit... I was nervous about the fact that we, a drooling pack of drunk drivers, were now being associated with the name of Christ. When I looked back at the officer, though, his face was pleasant enough. I felt relieved as I assumed, and rightly so, that his face meant that damage control didnt need to appear on the evening menu. For whatever reason, he seemed to have changed his mind about our alarming states of drunkenness.

"akjnfsearjbgn;aerjnga;erkj;hnaeh" (thats his radio)
"Yes Im still here at the scene"
"alkerjgnalerugnlaeirujng;aergar;ga" (his radio again)
"No, no... Ive got a code 4" (to us) "It seems I've caused a traffic jam."

Now, if any of you are as curious as I was about the meaning of "traffic jam" I will relay the meaning as was explained to me. When our park ranger had alerted the "crew" he had been a bit nervous. Recently, though, as I have explained, his nervousness for whatever reason had subsided. This was a great improvement for us! The ranger, however, had never called off his Knights in Shining Armor who were currently racing toward us (as fast as their love of elk would allow). The radio had interrupted his moment of relief with the less-than-trashed car of climbers, to tell him that 3 cars had met at the intersection and were ALL on their way. I find this amusing, and couldnt bear to have left this part out. So as not to take advantage of your concern, you will be happy to know he called them off (i.e. the code 4).

And then the weirdest thing happened. He started asking about Solid Rock. Said he had heard about us. Wanted to know how to get in touch with our President. Wanted to join us for a few climbs. Wanted to come check out church the next morning. Wanted to know anything we were willing to tell him. Then he stepped back and commented that this was the best "pull over" he had ever made. He thanked us for our time, and for our information and told us to have a great night.

Now friends. No bluffing here. This really happened. And just like I've outlined it, too. I recognize that part of my surprise is the not-so-slight cultural differences between Colorado and D.C. But really. If I were to summarize the evening, it would look like this.

1)Driving like drunks.
2)Pulled over by elk-protector.
3)Drooled like drunks. Answered all our questions wrong.
4)Cant produce a driver's license.
5) No ticket. Invite ranger to church. Ranger says he'll come and wishes us a good night.

I am in no way condoning driving like you're drunk in hopes that you are pulled over with the goal of inviting police officers to church. But looking at that sequence of events you have to see that God works in CRAZY ways for the good of His kids. CRAZY!

The Truths of Glacier Basin

2008-08-11T10:43:00.000-07:00

1) Chipmunks are NOT cute when they are eating your last piece of chocolate.
2) If the guide book says "magical spires"... assume its just trying to make the "arduous descent" worthwhile.
3) Dancing in the rain is a wonderful experience, IF you have a place to dry off.
4) The man who invented waterbeds once camped in site #12 at Glacier Basin.
5) Relationships among climbers is easier than avoiding the smoke of the campfire.
6) The meadow is NOT always windy enough to fly a kite.
7) Caig Demartino is impressive in heart and strength. With one leg and having been "smashed" in a climbing accident that resulted in a 100-foot fall, he climbed El Capitan. I got to meet this incredible man. Here is his story (www.group.com/grippingpoint).
9) Hooves are NOT good for climbing...
10) Gravity falls on everyone. So does the love of God through Jesus Christ. Its really your angle that makes the difference.

Cross Country Conclusions

2008-08-07T11:55:00.000-07:00

"Gretchen... its ok. I promise it wont hurt."

"Dont look at me like Im crazy, sweetheart. Trust me."

"I would never hurt you. Watch. I will do it myself... see?"

It didnt matter if he showed me, that he had done it himself. It didnt matter that he promised, and it didnt matter that he had earned all the trust in the world. It was crazy, it didnt make sense to me, and it was scary. The interaction that happened the day my Dad taught me that you can pass your hand quickly through a candle flame looked alot like the interaction between God and I today.

This morning I left Kansas City, the last let of a 27-hour drive across the country. It was the first day of a 5-month mission trip, and I was crying. I hadnt cried when God had first showed me His plan, or when I had quit my job, I hadnt even cried as I pulled away from my family in Indianapolis. But heading West on I-70 from Kansas City the tears just rolled down my face. All my fears, concerns, insecurities had ganged up with the sadness of leaving and had chosen that quiet moment of solitude and uncertainty to paint the painfully complete picture I had, previously, only seen parts of. And I was scared. I was really scared.

Thanks to Kansas I had quite a bit of time to spend with those tears thinking... and praying. The conversation I had with God through those hours was amazing. He reminded me that these moments happen quite often in life, and He gave me that picture of Dad teaching me about the candle flame. He didnt stop there though... He showed me moment after moment. He reminded me of the internal struggle that happened the first time I flipped upside-down in a kayak. It didnt matter that I trusted Cole completely, that she was experienced, that she was right there if anything happened... it didnt matter... it was crazy. No one in their right mind traps themselves underwater in a boat. You cant BREATHE down there! He also reminded me of my first lead fall. I trust Frank. I look up to and respect him as a climber, and he has as much or more experience than anyone else I climb with, but when he told me to fall... on PURPOSE... I was terrified.

And now, here was God. Telling me to quit my job, to leave the things, the people, and the places that I love most, and to drive across the country alone to go on a mission to tell people about how much He loves them. I was crying because that was crazy! It didnt matter that He has earned all the trust I could give Him, that He has always provided, that He has walked through every crazy scary time of my life with me. I didnt matter that He promised me it was going to be ok. And it didnt matter that He had left heaven, to come to this earth, and journey through the middle east- often times alone- to go on a mission to tell people about how much He loved them...... but it did. I realized it did matter.

And because it mattered... I passed my hand through the flame. I flipped in my kayak. I fell on a lead climb. And I drove to Colorado.

And because it mattered I stopped crying.

A prayer of blessing

2008-07-27T20:16:00.000-07:00

Today, my church family prayed for me and blessed me as I go out on this "great adventure". I was humbled to tears at both services. But what blessed me even more was when, as I was walking through the hallways of the church, I was stopped countless times by people with questions about my ministry who asked if they , their ministry teams, or their families could pray for me. I must have had 25 people lay hands on me to pray today.

Those people may not call themselves missionaries, but I know I saw Jesus today.

Thank you. Thank you so much!

"The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
James 5:16

In no specific order...

2008-07-14T22:05:00.000-07:00

1) Deer at my bedroom window2) Knowing that EVERY storm= no electricity... always

3) Flowers in my bedroom every time I come home4) "hurray!" is going to be the answer
5) Touring DC on the back of a SUPERcool wheelchair6) Homemade Christmas gifts7) Contra Dancing8) Interpreting when Spot visits Mantua 9) Waking up and being excited to go to work10) Hagrid (my pet fern) and Holly Dog11) Seeing National Cathedral for the first time, and crying 12) Sweetwater and Borders13) Worshipping with Frontline14) the Waltz15) hearing from a 6-year old boy, that I live in "the secret house"16) Great Blue Herons in the river's mist 17) a ringneck chillin in the livingroom 18) Trying desperately to stay warm through the winter19) knowing the moon's phase (night hikes/kayaking etc)20) Chipotle and jars filled with encouragement 21) Knowing the difference between male and female moths22) the Political Party against invasive Garlic Mustard!!!23) 9-hour adventures on a whim24) Learning from plovers and sea turtles how to live respectfully 25) Bleak House, Sense and Sensibility Pride and Prejudice... CLASSIC chick flicks 26) Full Nalgenes and Airport Security27) quiet times with a view 28) The Capitol as a background for great old movies and the Washington Monument as foreground to fireworks29) My first REAL eskimo roll30) Old Rag31) 7-11 Slurpee Runs32) Talent Shows33) Jack Johnson, and Shane and Shane 34) My pet millipede (they're like TANKS I tell ya) 35) Casa de Mama and trips to CVS 36) tea and the hammock 37) organized tupperware 38) Making masks for a masquerade 39) being a mentor, and now a pen pal 40) lost hikers at my door 41) face painting 42) hand-sanding the hull of a sailboat 43) Pandora 44) Kayaking in January 45) Interfaith discussions at work 46) Wooster and Jeeves, JeriCHo, Firefly, Dr. Who 47) home-made truffles and banana bread 48) dancing in the rain 49) kitchen talk 50) Acts 9 AND 22 51) Helping to bathe the 3-legged turtles 52)dixie lid puzzles, miniature golf, and laughing til my abs hurt about "The faces of..." 53) learning the role "wing-man", and being fired 54) "How to Study the Bible"classes - learning to be "inductive" 55) small groups 56) being part of the first downhill canoe-sled team (and ALL the adventures of the half-canoe) 57) Reese and that family she lives with (-: 58) learning to climb 59) learning to fall 60) FACE COWBOY and Hermann and Bermann 61) how NOT to "punch like a girl" 62) comparing God to an integral 63) cooking for the bachelors 64) the blue/green eye shine of a spider in the moonlight 65) Stinker and fam 66) the first day at MBC Loudoun- Jan 20th, I will never forget 67) Jamie's 68) Ferry rides to Ocracoke 69) team mosquito attacks 70) New Years in prom dresses 71) herding toads 72) interpreting Harry Potter and the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe 73) lasagna wars 74) flowers at work 75) Tuesday hugs 76) Maasai chess pieces 77) Rwandan documentaries 78) Luis Pilau 79) highland games- Caber toss and SUMO circles 80) Passover, Max's Deli, and burnt garlic bread 81) asking SO many questions and never feeling dumb 82) puzzles and ice cream by the fountain in Reston 83) starting Minnesota mornings with prayer from DC 84) learning about Islam and loving its people 85) being snowed in 86) Ferry rides and fighter kites on the beach 87) Get Fuzzy 88) Trips to Sunflower at 9:58pm 89) Todd Phillips and Lon Solomon 90) the Muddy Buddies 91) Settlers of Catan, chess, set, tangrams, the Office and binary- hanging with the nerds!! 92) the "freshette" fan club 93) sushi-Deaf style 94) teaching a Brit to burp 95) The Incredibles- NO CAPES 96) my first "metro" experience 97) Mission-minded friends getting at the core of God's heart for His people 98) Bananagrams 99) Egrets, Osprey, Cormorants and King Fishers 100) Finding a place to call "home" 101) being quiet enough to finally let Jesus begin teaching me who I am in Him

I could have listed 500...

3 times the cock crows...

2008-07-12T18:31:00.000-07:00

I always get so MAD at Peter when I read that story. Oh it just GETS me- really burns me up. But I learned compassion for him, and empathy for his story today. Today the Lord allowed the cock to grow and I am relieved to know that my mistake wont be written down and read for the next 2,000 years. SO very relieved.

The story goes like this...
1) I tell people I am thinking of going to Pakistan
2) They ask me why I am going.
3) They tell me I am crazy, an idealist, have a death wish etc...

This conversation has happened so often to have provided opportunity for me to play with my responses to number 2 in an effort to avoid number 3. I have tried to explain the Great Commission, I have tried to tell of my heart for suffering people, I have explained the dire situation, the need for education, that extremists are the only ones who build schools (factories). I have played with different versions of "God's calling on my life", showing love as I have been loved, fighting religious ignorance one child at a time... yadda yadda yadda... like flapping in the wind. Number 3 just keeps coming like snot from a kindergarten nose.

Now I could write a whole blog on how God has humbled me as He asked me WHY I was trying to avoid number 3... because its true, I was very convicted. I could write another blog about Christ encouraging me to marinate in the vision He has given me before excitedly yet uninformedly blurting them to the world... and I could. But this cock crowing business is much more interesting. And this is why... I sat down and thought about the fact that most of these 3) people were rock climbers (who high ball or lead climb and love Chris Sharma who solo climbs routes I cant do on toprope), or they are kayakers (who run rapids with crazy consequences), or they are people who have gone skydiving etc... I digress- you see where this list is going. I found it fascinating that people see taking risks for personal success respectable and dancing with danger for thrill refreshing...until you fail. But to accept risks for benefit of others is typically responded to with hesitation, warning, and ridicule from the world... until you've succeeded.
It wasnt fair... doesnt the enemy LOVE it when you start getting concerned with "fair".
I was hurting and tired of these conversations. And therefore the enemy just keeps picking, doesnt he?

And thats where I was when I walked into my climbing gym (bad move... I should have asked Christ for His strength before I ever got out of my car, but I didnt). So there I was... working on summer camp... minding my own business when it came.

I was questioned about my plans for this summer.
"Dont you follow Jesus?"
I responded that I was excited about climbing with Kristin.
"Jesus who?"

Dropped the ball THERE.

"What will you guys be doing out there?"
I managed something about service and hanging out with climbers.

Dropped ball, party of two.
But then it came...

"What are you gonna do after that? Somebody said something about Pakistan."
I dont even remember what lame and nauseatingly wish-washy remark flew out of my mouth but it came and God immediately dealt me a hand of crowing roosters.

They asked me where I stood on the spectrum of culturally acceptable motivation... They had asked me if I was with Jesus... They asked me which master I was serving... and my response was completely focused on avoiding the cookie-cutter conversation and that unrelenting number 3. I responded to the tune of social justice so as to be acceptable to them with complete disregard concerning the witness of God.

This happened awhile ago. I know He still loves me. Loves me the same as He did when I was answering number 2 with lists of God's provision and guidance. Loves me the same as when the answer to number 2 was a presentation of the Gospel as clear as Ive ever given it. But at the same time He reminded me of my on-going struggle to serve Him single-mindedly. Knowing that orginal sin runs in the family, I realize I will struggle with this as long as He gives me life...

Just as Peter did.

The story doesnt make me mad now. It makes me focus on what Peter did next...

On God and Garlic Mustard

2008-06-22T11:17:00.000-07:00

The wind tore through the gray forest of trees between the river and I. Sitting on the porch, appreciating this wet serenade, spooning with my pop-a-san chair, enjoying the company that God had given me.

I got up, tea in hand, walked to the screen of my porch and stared out at the weather, watching as the plants bore the brunt and the benefit of all that water. One such plant caught my attention... the garlic mustard. This beautiful flowering plant is easy to spot on the forest floor. Its simple and lovely, and it has (unexpectedly) become the target of most of my nature-rants recently. I will explain why...

Living at the Key House, I've learned a great many things from my roommate, who works at the park. Many of these things have really affected my perspective on life as well as my day-to-day actions. One such thing that was made quite clear my first week at the park was that we definitely werent allowed to harm any of the plants, animals (or bugs) living around (or with) us. A concept I could live with (learning to catch and release snakes and bugs was fun) and actually adopted very quickly. All was well until one day I saw my roommate out yanking up plants. I was mortified. When I questioned her, however, I learned that she was pulling up "invasives". An invasive is defined as a non-native plant or animal that reproduces quickly to the detriment of the native species (I was allowed to kill these). Bamboo, striped mosquitos, and Japanese stilt grass are some good examples in our area.

Well as you may have guessed, the plant she was pulling was non other than the garlic mustard plant. And its detriment, I kid you not, is that it murders butterflies. The plant smells like the butterflies' host plant, they lay their eggs, the eggs hatch, wrong plant, no food... starving butterflies (well caterpillars). I KNOW! Right? Well Garlic Mustard and I have just never been the same since. Every time I see it, I pull it. I have jokingly set up an entire political party focused on the extermination of the species here and in any of its non-native land. The benefit of this party being that a single-minded focus on Garlic Mustard's extermination makes big questions like the national debt, illegal aliens, and off-shore drilling MUCH easier to answer. We have even planned seriously entertaining events at birthday parties focused on pulling garlic mustard... Its amazing how much your perspective changes when you understand the reality of things around you. Beautiful in the right place, but a destroyer of beauty outside of that place.

So what have we learned? Garlic mustard in Northern Virginia= bad news.

Well it was this plant that I noticed when I looked out through the rain that evening. And the thought came to me. The rain was falling on the invasive garlic mustard just as it was watering the native Sycamore beside it. I thought of all the bad press God gets for doing the exact same thing. So I asked my roommate, who was sitting there (who tends to think along the lines of a naturalist), "Why does the rain decide to water the garlic-mustard if it will only grow up to kill the butterflies?" Her answer was brilliant- not surprising at all. She responded that the garlic mustard grew here because of our mistakes, and that the rain couldn't go around fixing all of our mistakes or we would feel free to avoid responsibility for our actions.

Can she get an Amen?
I never could have answered my own question so beautifully.

My Support Letter

2008-06-10T16:33:00.000-07:00

Hey ALL!
In an effort to be more "green" I have posted my support letter for my upcoming mission trip. Id rather not print off a huge amount of paper if I can do things electronically. The trees really appreciate it (and YES... Id be happy to give a tree a hug for you).

So here is the support letter. If you would like to commit to my prayer team then all you have to do is send me an email and I will add you to my team. Sending this email means I will be praying for you and I will also add you to my newsletter list- which means I will be sending you updates via email for the next 5 months (please include your home address in the email).

If you would like to be part of my support team financially, please send me an email (that includes your address) and I will send you a support envelope addressed to Solid Rock. Every month you send support, Solid Rock will send back the next envelope as well as a receipt for the previous month.

If you'd like more information about Solid Rock you can visit www.srcfc.org. If you'd like to know more about my specific part in Solid Rock's mission then I'd love to send you my brochure (complete with original art from a graphic artist in Texas)!

Thank you so much, friends for the love and support your provide daily! Without such fellowship I'd not be able to stay strong in Him!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blessings Friends,

The word on the street is that I have quit my job and decided to live out of my car. Well it is true, but there is so much more! I will be going on a five month mission trip to the Western United States. I would love to tell you more about my plans and ask you to join with me in this adventure.

There is truth in the statement that prayer is a dangerous thing. I knew this before I started praying, but life has taught me not to ignore or run away from those things God calls you to. I began praying about full-time mission work when I was in high school. I even went on a few amazing short-term trips, but when I returned and asked God to send me overseas His response each time was “wait”. He made it clear that I had to learn to love His people before He would send me into full-time ministry among them. However, His call on my life never waned. I have learned that my spiritual gifts are mercy and evangelism and over the years God has done an amazing job of showing me His power and effectiveness in those gifts. As I have prayed, “Lord break my heart for what breaks Yours,” He has answered by giving me a heart for His people.

And so God’s calling on my life has come to this. As I am learning to love His people, and specifically this community, it is time for God to put me to the test. His challenge to me is to give up the comfort I have lived in for so long, and step out in faith of His provision as I reach out to the climbing community with the love of Christ and the hope of His salvation.

And so, from August through December, I will be joining Kristin Anderson working as an “on-the-road” missionary for Solid Rock Climbers for Christ. Their mission is encouraging, equipping, and empowering climbers to reach climbers for Christ through personal witness and outreach. And that is precisely what I will be working toward.

As I have dreamt about being a missionary throughout most of my life, my dream has always been to support nationals in their own country- to empower them to work among their own people and present Jesus in a way that is relevant. Solid Rock has given me an opportunity to BE a national: to work among my own community, within my own culture, and support others as they do the same.

Biblical precedent assures me, however, that I cannot be successful in this on my own. I realize that God’s provision is delivered through you, His people. Therefore, with humility, excitedly looking forward to the blessings God has for us, I ask you to “go” with me in this chapter of the Great Commission. The two needs that are very clear at this point are financial and prayer support. I am looking for a team of people to commit to providing monthly support and consistent prayer, and I am asking you to be one of those people. In return, my commitment to you would be one of good stewardship, consistent updates, and to share prayer requests.

Be Blessed in Him,

Gretchen

Psalm 61:2
1 Thess 5:24

Fishing: An Illustration

2008-05-19T16:30:00.000-07:00

I found an old post from 2006 and thought it interesting. 2 years, 2 homes, and a lot of life later (with a bad memory for details) its nice to look back. To see God move is really neat, but to see His tendencies over time is powerful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Work was long, languid, and camouflaged against a backdrop of all the days before it. My mind numb, my hands number, the sight of my driveway was a welcomed one. Focused intently on each black inch of driveway, I pulled into my "lil space" and was all too confused by the sight that welcomed me home...

Yup... this man, my dear neighbor, was fly fishing... in his backyard. Had a downpour left a small pool? The answer there... no, the ground was dry. Had an unsuspecting fish been the victim of vertical evolution, sprouting wings, and, finding himself tired, landed in this very yard whereby my extremely prepared neighbor (forgoing the nets and other tools he would typically use for catching flying things)decided to try and gain this fish by a much more entertaining means... fly casting? No ideed, not a fish (winged or otherwise) in sight. My neighbor was simply practising his cast on a new fly rod so that when the time came, and he found himself in a river, he could effectively catch the fish and use the rod adeptly for its intended purpose.

After asking my neighbor if he minded me photographing such a strange yet fabulous urban scene and discussing his passion and love for fly fishing: how he sought out places where the fish tend to gather, how he studied what bugs each kind of fish preferred so that he could tie the perfect fly on his line for each unique situation, how he had to practise more than he actually ever casted so that he knew every bend and flex in his rod, I was struck by a fabulous thought. This man was an evangelist.

Christ has given us the tools we need, the rod, the flies, the line... Scripture, the Holy Spirit and prayer and love to be effective evangelists to the world. The grass is waiting, and its time for us... for me... to accept His "go"... to become the strange yet fabulous urban scene.

A Nice Reminder...

2008-05-19T07:39:00.000-07:00

The Donut Illustration

Picture a nice warm Krispy Creme donut! Now try not to drool too much...

If you are looking down on it you will see two circles. The outer and the inner circle. Now imagine that the donut represents things that you are concerned about but really have no control over. Things like sports, the weather and other people.

The donut hole represents things in your life that you are also concerned about but that you have influence over. These are often the things in life that we are resposible for.

Our problems in life come when we focus on our concerns that we have no influence over. When we do that we tend to...

Compare

Complain

Criticize

Compete (in an unhealthy way)

If we focus on the area of influence (and responsibliity) that God has given us (which mostly has to do with our thoughts, words and actions) we will experience more of the peace and freedom that He wants us to live in every day.

Christ Penned the Cliche on my Heart

2008-05-13T10:28:00.000-07:00

So I am still reading this crazy book chalk full of facts that I try to convince myself are impossibilities. I'm reading story after story of the kind of sick brutality that only happens in history under the incubators of hatred, ignorance and corruption. Stories that, after reading in detail the experiences of these people I still have no claim on understanding the kind of world, the kind of perspective on life, the kind of survival skills, the kind of relationships, the kind of fear that pervades the lives of these people. I simply cant imagine.

I sat for quite awhile, speechless and without any kind of appropriate response to the story I had just read. I sat and just contemplated my own inability to have ANY kind of understanding of this woman's life. I chewed on the fact that the culture I have been tucked away in and sheltered by in middle-class America has guarded quite fiercely my fairly Utopian paradigm of "life". I chewed on the fact that the more I learn about what life can look like under extremist fundamentalism, the more terrified I become to live a day of my life in a country that has experienced and is experiencing the raw, irrational, ignorant tragedies of such regimes. Tragedies that in my head, when I REALLY sit down and think about life in such a place, I simply cannot accept that the things these women experience could happen to me.

Now don't get me wrong... I'm not saying that I believe myself too good or so well-protected and I am not flying off the religious handle that God would surely protect me and therefore have nothing to fear. None of those is where I am at. Its much more basic. This is the example I had in mind today. There was a short list of facts about food in Iran in this book. It gave a chunk of info on expense, how much people ate according to their job and gender etc. It was very apparent that hunger was a very real part of their live and therefore something I needed to deal with as a possibility. I sat and tried. I tried to imagine cooking (even just for myself) and knowing that I may not eat for 2 or 3 days (or would I cook the meal just assuming that food would show up because I'd never gone without). I imagined, and thought- about what I would do, and what thoughts I would have, and how my priorities in life would change, and what my prayers would look like, and what "joy" would look like, and if I would hate God... I mean REALLY, guys. I just found that truly trying to place myself there was just frustrating. My full refrigerator, my drawers full of snacks, my faucet with an unending flow of clean, clear, cool, and health-regulated water (that I don't drink because I live so close to the river and "they" suggest we dont).

In Truth, I am contemplating stepping out in faith and living somewhere that no matter how many pictures, or Youtube videos, or books, or statistics I see or how much of the language I learn I cant even BEGIN to imagine what life could look like there. I cant know until Ive lived it. I became so frustrated with my inability to imagine this as reality that anger-laden tears ran down my face.

Then Christ.
I saw a picture of Christ on the cross.
And I broke.
I had to compare the paradigm that America has given me to the paradise that He gave up. I was ashamed to TRY to compare my fears of what "might" happen to me for the knowledge of what Christ willingly accepted "would" happen to Him. I was faced with the Truth that if I knew what "would" happen to me, I would probably refuse to go. And I was broken by the fact that Christ gave up paradise to accept what He did for these very same people... and that they have no idea. Women who are ordered around by their 6-year-old sons, women who walk with large buckets of water and firewood days before giving birth because religious leaders have shamed the men who try to help by claiming that the Qu'ran forbids it, women who at age 9 are legally able to be married off and expected to bear sons for 70 year-old men who already have 3 wives, women whose husbands dont consider them important enough to even tell them when or for how long they are leaving the house and women who are told that their very presence is a sinful temptation to men have no idea that the God of the universe thinks they are precious enough to die for...

And I realized that this was their "cliche". I dont know if these women could imagine that kind of love.

Ive wanted to be a missionary my whole life. And today, Jesus taught me why.

Seriously...

2008-05-11T14:15:00.000-07:00

Ok... now THIS is impressive
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59ZX5qdIEB0

Price of Honor: Afghanistan

2008-05-09T07:56:00.000-07:00

"He who honors women is honorable, He who insults them is lowly and mean."
- Mohammad

"Make not God's name an excuse for your oaths against doing good and acting rightly."
- Qu'ran 2:224

"I had been visiting Afghanistan for seventeen years and had traveled extensively throughout the country, but it was only during my visit under the Taliban that I saw for the first time crowds of women and children reduced to beggary, the result of the Taliban's ban on women's employment. Many families, having sold all their household items, even blankets, were surviving on a few pieces of flat bread and sugarless tea or water. Supplementary feeding centers, funded by foreign agencies sprung up across the capital, until the regime closed them down. In these centers, malnourished children- one-year-olds weighing nine pounds, eighteen-month-old toddlers weighing sixteen pounds- were fed. their mothers were not, even though they, too, were malnourished. Women often ate once every two or three days, preferring instead to give whatever food they had to their children."

Meanwhile...

"Most talibs (the name for a religious student, which means they can go on the become judges or Imams- religious leaders) were young zealots, graduates of madrassas, so-called religious schools. In those cloister-like environments, boys grow up totally segregated from any women, including those in their own families. The highest honor they could earn there was that of qari, a Muslim honorific given to those who memorize and recite the entire Qu'ran, and a number did. Sadly, however they learned to do so in Arabic, a language they did not undersatnd and which was NOT taught to them. Consequently, they had no idea of the rights given to women in Islam."

In summary...

"The most unfortunate enemy that women, and men, have in the Islamic world is ignorance: ignorant people facing forces intent on using the religion for political reasons, reasons of power."

The Price of Honor: Pakistan

2008-05-07T14:03:00.000-07:00

If anything could talk me out of going to Pakistan. If any voice could convince me that I must have heard God's Voice incorrectly, it is the book I am currently reading by the same title as this post (the country name is simply the chapter's topic). It is cold, hard, fact supported by names and stories.

My fact of the day regarding Pakistan supported by the story of a real person, experiencing real pain and oppression.

"Under the law as it stands in Pakistan, women who have been raped can be charged with adultery or fornication (zina). The proof required to prosecute for zina is either confession or that there be four Muslim males of "good repute" present who can attest to the act of sexual penetration. No male witnesses of "good repute", of course are likely to stand and watch a rape in progress without trying to stop it. And because of this requirement it becomes impossible to punish the rapists. Instead, the victim is prosecuted. Her legal complaint of rape is considered a confession of illicit sexual intercourse."

"This is exactly what happened to 16-year old Safia Bibi. Virtually blind, Safia was employed as a domestic in the home of a local landowner. She was raped forst by her employer's son, and then by her employer. As a result, she became pregnant and subsequently gave birth to an illegitimate child. Safia's father registered a case of rape for his daughter. The judge, however, acquitted both the son and the father because there were not four male witnesses to attest to the assaults. Safia's pregnancy, though, was deemed in court evidence of fornication."

She was sentenced three years "rigorous" imprisonment (where she would likely be raped again), a public flogging (bringing shame to her family which gives any male relative the right to "punish" her, disown her, or in some cases kill her), and a fine of 1,000 rupees. The judge stated that he was giving the disabled teenager a "light sentence" because of her young age and near blindness.

Please pray that God give you a heart to fight for God's children who live under such laws and oppression. Please ask God to urge you toward passionate prayer for them. They need a Savior.

Reason 4,785 why I have a SOAP BOX about Hummer drivers...

2008-05-06T19:19:00.000-07:00

At the time of the first oil embargo in 1973, the United States imported 36 percent of its oil. In 2002, we import 60 percent, up from 47 percent a decade ago. "The size of our consumption is absured, and most of it goes for gasoline for cars and sports utility vehicles," says Roger Diwan, head of market analysis and country risk at the Petroleum Finance Company in Washington, D.C. "Our oil imports have increased by 3 million barrels a day since 1995."

Americans, who make up 5 percent of the global population, use 25 percent of the world's oil... California alone now burns more oil daily than either Germany or Japan.

Jesus: the pig of God

2008-05-04T18:21:00.000-07:00

"The work 'God' is different in almost every language. Strangely, the western church model has quite literally spent centuries changing the name tags and labels in every continent of the globe 'converting' people to 'Christianity' rather than helping people turn their hearts toward their Creator, whatever name He goes by.

A friend of mine illustrated this point to me asking, 'What if I told you that Jesus was the pig of God?'

My jaw dropped, "I'd be a little offended,' I said, 'thats contrary to Scripture.'

'Of course, but try telling that to a primitive tribe in Indonesia.'

'What do you mean?' I asked.

'Its an illustration I had to use once,' he said, 'they dont have sheep in Indonesia, so I had no way to explain the sacrifice of Jesus for their sins, other than to use a wild pig as an example instead.'

It hit me then- it was the reality of the sacrifice, not the textbook verbiage that mattered.

'What, do you you think we'd have to import sheep into every people group on the planet before we tell them the Good News about Jesus?' He asked with a laugh.

He was right. In the same way we dont have to import our culture and our religious traditions and labels to tell people about Jesus. Jesus is compatible with every culture because He IS the Gospel, and He give Himself freely. Jesus looks for a change of heart; men look for a change of culture. Its always a matter of the heart- and Jesus can do THAT work on His own."

-Carl Medearis "Pillars and Prophets"

Carl is my new favorite Theologian. And this book is an refreshing look at the heart of God!

Spiritual Lonliness

2008-05-02T11:32:00.000-07:00

"It is safe to say that the tragedy of every Christian who has become hardened by sin's deceitfulness can be traced directly to spiritual loneliness. The pride that pretends that we do not need the comforting, encouraging exhortations of our fellow Christians is one with the pride that we no longer need the grace of God. Safety is found only in a small company where we know each other well enough, trust each other completely enough, to share our burdens and our temptations…..we need one another"

Hosanna

2008-03-30T18:55:00.001-07:00

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks yours

Everything I am for your kingdom’s cause

Shadow-Puppet Savior

2007-11-21T14:32:00.000-08:00

The other day I had a really cool conversation with a good friend. We were discussing the fact that one couldnt prove the existence of God.

Now... if you know me you understand that the way my mind works is simple. When Jesus talked about coming to Him as chidren, I JUMPED on that bandwagon. At age 27 I still prefer children's literature to the New York Times Bestseller. Its not because I am stupid, its not because I am lazy, its because I find so much refreshment and Truth in simplicity. So it would make sense that the picture I have of Christ, the one I interact with as well as the one I share with others, is a simple picture. My friend, however... well he is a complex thinker. So the conversation was notable by its very existence.

So from my perspective proving God needed some background explanation in order to be effective. I told my friend about all the AP Biology and Anatomy classes I had taken in high school. I told him that I had also pursued biology classes as a psychology major in college and then later some chemistry classes outside my major. And yet, with all the anatomical and chemical understanding I have of the human body and brain, if someone had asked me to prove the existence one of my friends I would have told them I was positive of their existence simply because I had a conversation with them last week. Similarly, because I am so passionate about Christ I had attended and interpreted countless seminars, sermons, Bible studies and classes about such topics as the archaeology of the Bible, the Character of God, the Reliability of the Bible, the Life of Christ etc. etc. etc. And so in following the former response, when people ask how I KNOW God exists, having years and years of knowledge with which to form my response I still choose to answer: "I know He exists because we had a nice chat this morning." People, Christians and non-Christians, have and will look down on me because of this answer. I have been called simple-minded. I have been the focus of rolled eyes, deep sighs, and frustrated intellectual conversation. Truth be told... I don't mind. I have a lot of respect for those who are deeply passionate about the logic of God; those who became Christians because it "made sense". But as for me... I became a Christian long before I knew the word "logic". Long before anything "made sense". Long before I realized people would ask and expect answers from me on such topics as proving the existence of God.

So, here's the thing...I feel like you need the beginning story. The first moments I remember of my life as a Christ follower. In all honesty it happened in much the same way small children become friends. I have some experience here... let me explain. When I was a kid I moved around a bit. I remember every time I left my Mom to see my Dad and every time I left him to go back to her. I remember every best friend I ever left behind. Every school, every teacher... in fact every so often I used to play a game with myself to see if I could still recite all my teachers' names. My first memories of a good friend was a girl who was hard-of-hearing. She lived in my col-de-sac. Her name was Lauren. My first memories of her being my friend were on a day when another girl in the neighborhood had decided she wouldnt be my friend. I remember she had told me I wasnt ever welcome back in her house in front of 2 or 3 other girls. This girl Lauren was one of them. I didnt know her well at that time (I was the new kid) but Lauren followed me out instead of staying to play. So what. Right? Well, ya see, when she caught up to me she noticed I was crying. She hugged me. She let me cry and was sad with me. But most importantly she stayed with me knowing she would share the ridicule of the other girls from then on... I felt loved. I felt understood. I felt safe. I couldnt prove she was my friend, but I knew she had earned my respect, my trust, and my love... even as a child.

My first memories of being a Christian werent so different from my experience with Lauren. They werent memories of studying Greek and Hebrew conjugations, or of archaelogical text or C.S. Lewis' "Mere Christianity". They weren't moments of trying to understand His theology or break Him down into proveable parts... they were intimate moments as I listened to my parents fight. They were moments of knowing He is big and I am small. They were moments where He taught me I would never be alone. They were moments of safety and security in a God I COULD see and experience His love. When things were the roughtest, when I was scared and alone, He was always with me... makeing me feel loved, understood and safe. My first moments of memory as a Christian were in my room, playing shadow puppets with my friend, Jesus.

I love being able to come to Jesus as a child...a friend. Working at an elementary school I know all too well that kids have the best discernment. They are naturally skilled at knowing true character and uncovering superficiality. Kids know whats up without all the complexity and ego. The reality is beautifully child-like in its simplicity. He has always accepted me for who I am without judgement... He has earned my respect everyday since I can remember. He has never left me, walked away from me, or led me astray... He has earned my trust. He has loved me when I am unloveable, apathetic, skeptical and obstinate. He has loved me through my worst and in the midst of it offered me grace at the expense of His own suffering... He has earned my love. This is the basis upon which I know and understand the Christian God. He is my most trusted friend. I would feel so silly trying to explain the existence of my friend, when I could just introduce you to Him?

My friend
always beside me
wise, gentle, gracious, teacher
great shadow puppets!

Invasives

2007-06-22T13:39:00.000-07:00

Fairfax is a microcosm of a huge international problem. From South Africa to Australia to North Carolina’s Great Smoky Mountains, millions of dollars are being spent to restore native vegetation.

How bad is it?

The U.S. Department of Agriculture estimates that invasive plants are costing taxpayers more than $10 billion dollars each year in lost agricultural and forest productivity. These non-native species thrive because they’re removed from the natural predators and other conditions that limited their growth elsewhere.

Ecological destruction by invasive plants is second only to the environmental havoc caused by people, according to The Nature Conservancy. Exotic plants clog waterways, destroy crops and prevent trees from germinating through vine-infested forest floors, a Cornell University study concluded.

“Invasive species are the greatest environmental threat of the 21st century—more than global climate change,” said Tom Stohlgren of the U.S. Geological Survey.

One Knife of Blessing

2007-06-18T16:57:00.001-07:00

I am sitting here tonight thinking about how many amazing people God has placed in my life. And seriously... no really... I'm just floored. In fact for one suicidal moment I thought I'd try and list them all and realized it would be absolutely impossible. Its the kind of realization that, when paired with a reading of "that poem" makes you feel as though you must have footprints all over you. Its one of those moments where you try and write something beautiful, but the beauty is in the impossibility of expression. So there it is. I'm amazed. Absolutely amazed and I'm gonna quit trying to explain it. Thanks for being amazing guys!

The moment that brought me to this realization was a blog from two people God placed in my life in a slightly quirky way (upon thinking about that I realized this was not the exception at all). I met Jake on my way to Ukraine. He was on his way to Africa and we both had REALLY short hair. We bonded over a guitar at a Catholic retreat center. It was weird with Jake though. Ive moved around my whole life and am used to jumpin in and out of peoples' lives. But Jake refused to let that pattern apply. Years and Years later... out of nowhere I'd get a call... from Jake? Yup. The very same. He was impressive, never left his smile too far behind. Exuded Jesus. And was always talkin about what God was doin. Not now, not even soon, just in general. Well I randomly got to see Jake for the first time in 5 years cuz God decided to bless this guy with an amazing bride. The kind of bride who had dreamed of a barefoot wedding where they could sell everything they owned to road trip across America (thats when I met Jessica) and then hike around Asia to find a place to pour their lives into. I love myself a hippie. I do.

Well they started in Morocco, then India, and from there... well the trip is detailed in their blog and I have a link to it so please... its a great story... read a chapter sometime. In any case, reading their blog sent me headlong into the realization of all the seriously amazing, impacting, and singularly inspiring people God has placed in my life. These two people particularly remind me of all of life's capacity and that the things you "have to" do are about as concrete as the rules in monopoly or the stock market. Those things we have grown up with, dont have to be true for us. And I love that. I needed this reminder. So...this is the blog that sent me there, via a long train of thought (chugga chugga chugga chugga) and I thought I'd share it with you, cuz I just like it a lot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

one knife

there is something about finding delight once again. i didn't realize how delightful life could be until i slowed down and began to understand and take notice of the surrounding life burying itself deep within my pores.

you see, we have one knife. in the mornings when we wake, we run to the local market for some calcium enriched soy milk, make our way back to the room, wash some mangoes, rambutan, lychee and oranges. we sit together outside on our porch. while one peels and cuts the mangoes the other sits, waits, laughs and enjoys. the one holding the knife who has committed themselves to mango mutilation pokes piece by piece and we feed each other. i know that sounds silly, but i wonder what life would be like if we had two knives and were able to peel, cut and eat our mangoes independently.

after five months of hibernation we brought out our mini-ipod that my dad gave us as a going away gift (a free promo gift he received from Kroger's). yesterday we laid in bed together, listening to damien jurado, love drug, U2, neutral milk hotel, etc. together. with one ear phone in my left ear and the other in his left we shared our afternoon together, sang together, danced together (although this took some tricky agility) and smiled. i wonder what life would have been like yesterday afternoon if we had a t.v. to watch or even two ipods to listen to...

...most days we are without an engine-run mode of transportation (unlike today when we rented a 125 honda and took a ride up into the mountains to hike through the waterfalls, yeah.) therefore, our primary way of going from one place to another is on foot. the days when we rent a bike there is always a part of me that misses walking. passing by hundreds of food and junk carts at a time with jake's right index finder interlaced in my left hand pinkie. we talk (with feeble results) with various vendors, pet hedgehogs and rabbits, play with little children and discover spider-webs and flowers. i sometimes wonder what life would be like if we had a car to take us everywhere we thought we wanted to go and missed all the discoveries woven throughout the side streets, alleys and people along the way.

we have one knife right now. it brings me delight.

Its time for silver lining

2007-06-15T20:43:00.000-07:00

Friends... Some really rotten things have been happening recently and Ive really been seeing the world from a "half empty" perspective for... well... too long now. And honestly, friends, thats not what I was made for. SO like it or not Im takin a stand for the silver lining and a cup half-full of whatever genre of liquid lovin you'd like.

10 Things that made me smile today:

1. I woke up this morning to a brilliantly green grove of trees framing a view of morning mist over the Potomac. (and I had complained about having to move)
2. My boss wants to run the Muddy Buddy.
3. A cardinal landed on my hood (and I was complaining about having to drive)
4. Stephanie sent me a job listing in Indiana (expected from my mother... coming from my sister I felt totally loved)
5. I found the picture of the crab (Maybe little pinch?)
6. Walid asked Cole if she loved me and Cole said yes. (I love EVERYTHING about that situation)
7. Cole accosted my boss with her 7-foot hooded cobra. (heheh hahahahahahaha)
8. Sabrina got to hang out with Dan today! (yay for Dan)
9. Saro called me "Gretch" and let me have his chocolate milk.
10. The GREAT breeze coming through my window.

This years best seller...

2007-06-15T20:34:00.000-07:00

The fact that the Bible is the best-selling book of all time obscures a more startling fact: the Bible is the best-selling book of the year, every year. Calculating how many Bibles are sold in the United States is a virtually impossible task, but a conservative estimate is that in 2005 Americans purchased some twenty-five million Bibles—twice as many as the most recent Harry Potter book. The amount spent annually on Bibles has been put at more than half a billion dollars.

Who knew?

Maybe little pinch?

2007-06-15T20:08:00.000-07:00

To the tune of A.D.D. and a Hallmark card

2007-06-12T20:38:00.000-07:00

You know you are in love when you can make the most mundane things thoroughly enjoyable.

So I went out on a date tonight. Didn't dress up... he hadn't shaved... really didn't have anything planned. But there was a pretty deep cut involved which placed "buying band-aids" much closer to the top our our priority list than anything else we could think of. So "date night" turned into "going to CVS to buy band-aids" night.

Now I don't know how many couples would get excited about such an agenda but we had a blast. We drove over, spent some time chatting about the ridiculous amount of choices one has when considering a band-aid purchase and then... well then the fun began to the tune of A.D.D. and a Hallmark card.

It all started when I saw a sign down one isle that read "cards with music". How could we resist? Seriously. I think we listened to 25 "songs". And yet every time ya opened another card it was as though its playing music was singularly unexpected and absolutely enjoyable. We tried to one-up each other with songs. I personally think my rendition of "Green Acres: the theme song" took the cake but it really didn't matter. While the employers, I assume, were planning our deaths, we were having a ball.

Who knew a date to CVS could be so superb. Its the little things in life. It really is. The big things just don't really last. Reality seems to constantly mess with the big things. I'm realizing my heart lives in the day to day... the simple... the joy in the small stuff. People say I am easily amused... well here is proof and I'm OK with that. I have come to accept it and truly just believe its a great way to go through life. And I'm so blessed to have someone in my life who will join me in those little things...

Frustrated Rant

2007-06-09T20:47:00.000-07:00

You know I really feel as though life has a list of crap. Crap that everyone experiences. A whole big long check list. And no matter WHAT, everyone checks them off somehow.

DISCLAIMER: Those statements do NOT mean by any "mountain out of a molehill" suggestion that Im equating my life and struggles with the victims in Darfur or the children begging at the airport in Port au Prince. No, my friends, this blog is in the "rant" genre... which means I am going to dramatically pull and stretch everything out of proportion in an attempt to give an absolutely unrealistic view of the frustration I am currently facing. My goal here would be, same as any rant writer, to give passionate voice to a frustration that could not possibly be felt as fervantly by the reader if it were not obviously rocketed into demonstrativeville.

So you know when you were a kid and ya messed up. Something big. Something that had your kid brain exhausted just trying to figure out how much trouble you'd be in for having done it. And you were sitting in your room practically punishing yourself as you waited for the punishment that was sure to come. You had, in fact, been sent to said location for the sole purpose of waiting for it... to "think about it" they said- ya well that worked. Like watching the firing squad aim, or the noose being tied, your angst boiled over and sloshed all about the floor. You waited and waited and...

The door opened. A parent entered. And it hit you like a ton of bricks. You got blasted, or spanked, or grounded... an opportunity taken away, a friend now banned from playing with, or given news your new puppy needed to find a new home. You knew you deserved it. Guilt nailed you to your bed. Shame individually crafted each tear. And the disappointment you saw in that parent's face made you think your life might end. Maybe you even wanted it to. Some said "I love you" and some stormed out the door. Some gave a hug and some rolled their eyes and turned their back. Either way they left you to your wretched self... alone... to "think about it".

You sat and thought and thought and sat. Overwhelmed, frustrated, ignited, guilt-laden, restless. Then the door opened... and the other parent entered. And it hit you like a ton of bricks... again. This one picked a different method. If a hug at first then this one brought the stomping and storming. If the first turned their back then this one pulled the "this hurts me more than you" line. And when the door shut a SECOND time you were left feeling ...?????? What just happened?

What had happened? They were upset and angry and in the emotion of it all they had never decided who would scold you. So two completely separate and oblivious parents reamed you with ZERO thought that the other already had.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Having now ranted about it, I will be upfront with you. I never felt that way. Not because God loves me more, but because my parents were divorced. And typically if one was upset about something the other took MY side on it. (Swear to you that situation is JUST as confusing, just with a different amount of yelling.)

And yet, at 25... I believe I just experienced this. Who knew...friends (particularly those you love like family because family is so far away) can do the same thing to a person. I never would have guessed it. And all those things... thats how I felt. I felt...
exhausted
worthless
stupid
emotionally spent
and
rejected.

I felt... fragile.

check

Im not sure which number on life's checklist that feeling is but its there. It doesnt matter if you are young or old, rich or poor, confident or insecure. Nothing can make you immune to it. So there's my checkmark. There are many more to follow I'm sure. Sometimes checked off is sweat, sometimes in tears, sometimes in exhaustion but we all check them the same. You've been there... you know. Its that moment in everyone's life when the Chihuahua barking at the Great Dane opens its eyes to find the view of life is now through 2 jaws worth of teeth. Curious how he got there, and wondering how it happened so fast, the Chihuahua's brave barking is immediately replaced by fear, confusion, and a deep understanding of his true strength and ability to control the situation.

As much as it sucks, and it did (about 2 years ago when I wrote this), I am yet again realizing that these moments are necessary. These fragile moments are the ones that give us a reality check, a genuine perspective on our lives. It goes without saying that since we Do tend to think more of ourselves than we ought, and since we are really very much smaller and less powerful than the perspective of our daily lives would lead us to believe... these arent typically comfortable and cozy reality checks. Its kinda like unwrapping a box of tampons at the office Christmas party eh? They are useful, they are necessary but still ... not such a comfy experience. The difference is that when life happens and you feel like you've been hit by a steamroller... you can crawl up into the lap of a God who will sit and cry with you.
The situation still sucks. But you havent been left to shrivel up on your own.

The Story of My Life

2007-05-30T07:20:00.000-07:00

Its the courtyard in the Freer Museum. The story of this picture is really the story of my life. Perhaps of everyone's life. I guess the Freer really has some good taste in "art".

I took this picture because I hadnt found anything else to photograph. It was a desperate attempt. But I was lonely so I poured everything I had into it. I set up I analyzed angle, and appature, and decided on a depth of field. I thought about lighting, composition, and cropping. And in order to avoid a bad reflection, I stood in a seriously uncomfortable position for quite awhile to get this shot. Now, if I was honest with you, at least part of the reason I did this was to be an impressive looking photographer in front of Saro. Ya... there is my spot of vulnerability for the day. Yikes.

So back to the story. I go home and download all my pics (and by all I mean like 20- ugh). And I flip through until I get to this picture. When I found it, seriously, I was shocked. It was the UGLIEST picture I'd ever taken. The focus was off, the color was WRETCHED, the shadows made the contrast all funky and the depth of field threw the composition into South Park, USA. It was a BIG HOT MESS of a photo and I really didnt want to claim it. I hated it. But there it was. And since I'd been so singularly "impressive" there was no denying it was mine. All disgustingly mine. Remembering my original vision, I was inspired to think about how I could fix it. I couldnt put a period at the end of THAT sentence, so I decided a good crop would be nice and a quick switch to black and white ... really my only hope.

And this was the outcome. I think its beautiful. In fact, of all the pictures I've ever taken it typically filters up to my all-time favorite shot.

And that, friends, is the story of my life. YOU figure it out. Cuz thats all she wrote on this one. If ya dont feel like thinking or ya dont know me well enough to try. Then I truly hope you enjoy the picture. I really hope you do.

More Pics

Embracing Salvation

2007-05-20T05:43:00.000-07:00

The father of lies
Coming to steal
Kill and destroy
All my hopes of being good enough
I hear him saying cursed are the ones
Who can’t abide
He’s right
Alleluia he’s right!

The devil is preaching
The song of the redeemed
That I am cursed and gone astray
I cannot gain salvation
Embracing accusation

Could the father of lies
Be telling the truth
Of God to me tonight?
If the penalty of sin is death
Then death is mine
I hear him saying cursed are the ones
Who can’t abide
He’s right
Alleluia he’s right!

Oh the devil’s singing over me
An age old song
That I am cursed and gone astray
Singing the first verse so conveniently
He’s forgotten the refrain
JESUS SAVES!

Hmmmmm....

2007-05-10T14:37:00.000-07:00

Thought: wouldn't it be cool if God started decopageing things...

Joshua Tree

2007-01-04T14:40:00.000-08:00

Ok so it happened in November. Im slow. Guilty as charged... So for those of you who have been asking, here are a few shots from my climbing expedition to Joshua Tree California.

Here are my climbing companions (and our rented MAGNUM) as we start our trip in L.A. A bunch of people I didn't really know, but would come to love.

Still acting goofy. We found Kristin at a base camp where we slept under the stars that evening. In the morning we rised and shined and got ready for our first day of climbing... YES THATS A TORTOISE CROSSING SIGN! That sign made me SO stinkin happy.

We spent the day climbing with Kristin and met some crazy people along the way. I had my first lesson in climbing etiquette (aka how to share rock). After a long day of climbing this is what we saw that evening after we set up camp at intersection rock. Its incredible how BRIGHT those stars shine! Every night I slept in a sleeping bag, no tent, and THIS was the view God provided.

Our next day of climbing had a severe lack of Kristin. We hired a guide who took us to Echo Cove. Its this neat horseshoe shaped mass of rock. Lots of climbing routes and tons of bouldering. This one is neat cuz the flat part you see really doesn't have any holds. The rock is so grainy though your shoes just stick. So the idea is to get as much friction as possible and just SLOWLY gecko yourself up.

This was my favorite climb in Echo. Its a 5.9 with a layback at the top. I still cant believe I made it! Stubbornness pays off! What was crazy about this one was that the "crux" or the hardest move of the route was the FIRST move. And what made this move the crux was that it was TALL! I worked and worked at the bottom of that climb- and I even found the magic hold (i.e. someone's knee) -and was exhausted before I ever started. I was so tired I pulled myself up just far enough to lay across the rock and catch my breath.

Here's the closeup view of me on that layback. It was my first REAL crack climb! It was amazing. Both hands along that crack, with one foot on the wall opposite me for leverage and the other behind me hoping for enough friction to keep me there. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

So that evening Corey and Sarah left us, but we had met this fabulous troupe of traveling Canadians the evening prior. We had gone night bouldering in a cave and now we were left without anyone to lead our climbs. So they asked us to join them for some bouldering in the morning. So we went back to Echo and attacked some pretty rough problems. Even the easiest ones were a HUGE challenge for me. But all the Canadians and Cole were so patient and encouraging.

I GOT IT!!
My climbing partners were way out of my league. I had been trying to keep up but this was the first one I was able to NAIL (lil bit of happiness ya see there).

Going back to Echo was a blast! This is the Canadians, the dogs (Lily and Ular), Cole and I chillin at sunset after a long day of adventures. One of them was a photographer- what a sweet coincidence!

Our last morning, before driving back to L.A. Cole and I got up SO very early to take pictures and enjoy the sunrise.

There was so much peace in this place. As the sun rose, the trees seriously looked like they were dancing. I could take my camera about them and shoot from every side to capture each graceful step of the dance. Their puffy little branches interlocked in a thousand brilliant ways. I was mesmerized.

This is another one I love. These crazy trees were seriously everywhere. It was like the funky forrest... hehe.

This is what the Joshua Trees look like up close. One of the crew of us is a naturalist and we were educated about the family ties between the J Tree and the Yucca plant. This was bad news for me because, seriously guys, I was attacked by three yuccas during this trip. THEY BITE... no joke. I shed tears.

With a few hours left before departure time, Cole and I got special permission to do some impromptu bouldering (we had packed camp satisfactorily and had earned ourselves some climbing points). So we ran to wake the Canadians and endeavored to get everything we could out of the trip. We drug the crash pads across the street where we had taken all those shots an hour or two earlier and climbed our hearts content. I call this shot, "What climbs up, must come down." Don't be fooled, I was scared out of my mind as I chimneyed between these boulders. I think I was even audibly whimpering cuz this Chinese lady who we were "sharing rock" with tried to comfort me... in Chinese? In any case, it was the only way down... and I'm still alive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was an amazing trip. I found some great friends, some from Virginia and some from Canada. I was able to really challenge myself and push beyond my weaknesses. I conquered SO many fears and found myself capable of things I'd never dreamed. I also realized what I WASN'T willing to do... and be comfortable with the limits I had. I left with a passion to develop my skills, both in climbing and photography, and with a renewed love for my hippie self and the magnificent and overwhelmingly gorgeous Earth God has made for us. WOW... He must be so smitten. I feel so loved!

The Secret to Marriage

2006-12-30T22:52:00.000-08:00

Imagine...

A couple in their 70's volunteers to be part of the Christmas Play at church. Their role... swing dancers. This stage is where the story takes place.

Rehearsals in full "swing" and this amazingly in love couple practices step after step to get things just right. The smiles, giggles, and playfulness would have a blind person believing these two were newlyweds. Rehearsal stopped for a break and the "young man" offered to get his "bride" a drink. As he walked off stage she approached.

"Do you want to know the secret to marriage?"
The opportunity was overwhelming.
"No matter what he says, if he laughs at himself... I laugh twice as much."

Ive dreamed, as has every girl, of being married since I was about 3. Ive dreamt of a wedding, and a family, someone to pray with, dancing in the kitchen, toothless nursing home kisses etc. Of all these dreams one remains vibrant through the years. I never want to loose my passion for that person. I never want to stop falling in love. Oddly enough at this point in my life I am crazy in love. And the poor dear soul is even crazier in love with me. As I look at our relationship, I often think of the swing dancing couple from church. Laughing at his jokes eh? Thats beautiful! I think what she really means is that the secret to marriage is loving something in your spouse that most people don't see or appreciate. To join them in something and make it alive just between the two of you.

Following the interpretation, then... I have a counter offer (-;
The secret to marriage is dancing. Not that either of us really know how. But we are learning... not in a classroom or from a book, oh no. We are learning by making mistakes together. Stumbling over each other and finding turns and steps around each other that are marvelous. We are practicing to lead and to follow, neither of which come naturally. We are learning by failing and succeeding... together, in a place where mistakes draw us together, not apart. Its a safe place for us to use imagination, and communication, and work as a team... Its amazing- really.

I am not married, never have been... but I think that couple had more than laughing going for them as they danced across that stage, and I hope I make room for lots of dancing in my life as well.

I've missed you

2006-12-12T20:16:00.000-08:00

Ive missed you all. WMAH!

Redefining Home...

2006-09-01T22:26:00.000-07:00

I wanna go home...

Its a feeling of urgency that hasnt left my heart since I was 18 months old. A deep and wistful longing... and its dullness almost masks the pain as "all in a day's work".

I refuse to accept- to continue to accept this dull pain. Instead I will redefine happiness. I have done it before... as a child. When the pain of missing him when I was with her and her when I was with him became inescapable. I built a new path to walk whereby happiness was never missing either of them, and in this new world happiness became attainable. Its called survival, right? Its not sad... its not harsh... its life right? We adapt, we learn, we grow, we survive... its reality. We try and we fail and we fail and we fail... and then somethings gotta give and I dont want it to be me. Its a broken world, like a broken record, and in the end its the reality that is best for me anyway.

Someone once commented that surely if I could change one thing about my life I would have my parents persevere through their marriage. I thought and thought and no... I wouldnt. Not because they couldnt have made it, not because they'd have fought and I'd have been miserable, but because I wouldnt know myself and in honesty I am appreciative for growing up as I did. My childhood laid foundations for the very things in my character I most appreciate and depend on: flexibility, desire for peace, youthful wisdom, the ability to be satisfied where I am with what I have, inner joy, a healthy appreciation for money, humility, and a realitic understanding of two distinct socio-economic planes. "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." In addition it has laid foundations for the things in myself I despise the most: apparent disregard for "details", fear of committment, desire for the approval of man, a lack of trust, foolish acceptance, manipulation, and passive-aggressiveness. These are qualities the Spirit and I fight everyday... but they are the battles I was made to fight. The former qualities are perfectly designed to engage each of these flaws. Isnt that just like God!? I wouldnt trade my childhood for anything. In fact, I am thankful for the strength and gentleness it has given me. Even more importantly, these experiences have been hand-picked to prepare me for the challenges I face today.

So I accept the challenges in faith that they are developing in me exactly what God has for me. In knowledge that He will ALWAYS be developing something and so my failures will never be blurry from distance. I guess my response is to simply redefine satisfaction or happiness or peace or comfort or whatever has been taken away. And right now the dull pain is mourning for "home". It has been since the day it was taken from me. And sometimes I can move beyond the pain and sometimes I just cant. And right now Im struggling because even my redefinitions of redefinitions are being attacked. And Im just not sure I want to continue trying to carve satisfaction out of crap anymore. As if eating a pomegranate is really worth all the work. Is the flesh of the fruit even sweet once you get to it? Or does it leave you feeling overworked and underfed?

Well it IS worth it! It is ALWAYS worth it! Because I am not fighting for me. And that redefinition of a redefinition of something Webster wouldnt even recognize anymore is imperative because it keeps me seeking out God's blessing. It keeps me yearning for satisfaction. It keeps my mind on what CAN happen and kills the "can't" that kills all hope. It keeps me in a place of "outrospection" and clothes me with blinders to myself cuz thats not where my focus should be. And THAT Truth hurts. It hurts and I mourn, not forsaking the saddness... but also not forsaking the joy that in reality I dont want it to be about me. Because every fiber of my being was hand-crafted by a Master Whose deepest longing was that I choose Him. And that means choosing Him and not me.

So God and I... we sat and cried together. And then... for the 294th time... we redefined "home". And satisfaction, once again, became attainable.

"All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them." Hebrews 11:13-16

How Loud is a Whisper

2006-08-18T09:01:00.000-07:00

it
sneaks around...
down the street
behind a bedroom door
staring
unpredictable
year by year
minute by minute
invisible
undeniable

some
are scared
always on their guard
some deny
turning every corner
with foolish apathy
or worse...
unfounded hope.

I
Look it in the eyes
The eyes it doesnt have
With founded hope
And courage not my own
I dont fight
I dont have to
I know something it doesnt know
I know its game
Its game has already been played
Not in the shadows
In the open
For everyone to see

yet even as they look
they ask to be blinded
they close their eyes
and turn away
they are scared of what it means
it is better to be scared of the unknown
than to fear what confronts you

I choose to see
And I shout to them
"Its a happy ending
It sped down the street
It jumped from behind the bedroom door
But IT DIDNT WIN
LOOK! TURN AROUND!
We didnt even have to fight it.
The game has been played
IT IS FINISHED!"

One or two slowly turn.
but so many
bleachers of them
stadiums of spectators
cower in fear
And I cry because I love them
And I cant help but to think
I could have shouted louder
I could have shouted longer

so I surrender the masses
and I go to them
one by one
and cry with them.
and I whisper what I know.
its amazing how loud
is a whisper.

The Ultimate Irony of God

2006-08-17T22:07:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, a precious baby was born with a rare blood disease. This baby was not expected to live to be 1 month old. 7 months came... 7 years... 70 years. This dear child, born with so little hope of becoming an adult became a husband, a father, and a grandfather. He gave to life ALL that was given to him and led a life that most of us wish we had. the epitome of strength, kindness, and commitment. He was ALL that God wanted him to be. His daily struggles, with what was born to him, always seemed secondary to the life that be made for himself. He is a witness to priority in life. God, family, then others before himself. The love he gave his wife- completely dedicated. His love for his children and grandchildren- ceaseless. His strength and commitment to give back every breath that God gives him- awe-inspiring. This baby, born with a disease that could have prevented him from living a full life and could have taken his life at any time... became a "victory" for God and a "love story" for the life of Jim and Katie Lamping. The "Ultimate Irony" is that God gave this baby to the world as a paradign to how He wants us to live and love. Then, He took this gift in a freak car accident to be with Him in HIS time and in HIS way.....

This was part of the eulogy for my Uncle Jim who was recently killed in an accident. Because of the support of some awesome people in my life, I was able to come home and grieve with/be a support to my family in Indiana. Uncle Jim and I thank you all for the beautiful servant hearts y'all have. I am blessed to call you friends. Thank you.

Romans 3:23
Romans 6:23
Romans 5:8
Romans 10:9
Romans 12:1

On the other side of life, I am baptizing my sister, Kate on Sunday. I was able to have an amazing discussion with her about Baptism... what it means... why we do it etc. etc. etc. Let me tell you a discussion about Baptism with a 13-year-old crazy version of myself is F-U-N! I was so proud of her for deciding to make an intentional decision to begin seeking to mature in Christ for herself- outside of her family. She is my hero... and its an honor, a blessing, and a lesson in humility to be baptising her.

Ode to Grampa or Yay for today!

2006-06-09T21:33:00.000-07:00

So my grandfather, God bless him.

I was blessed to live in the house he built, the house my Mother and her siblings grew up in. A house that is full of stories, and memories, and... well its a quere house because my Grandfather built it. Let me give you and example. I lived in the basement bedroom for a short time and in the closet there was a particularly poignant piece of Grandpa. To each wall of the closet was nailed a slightly bent bottle cap. And between these caps was perfectly fit dowel rod (ie... where I hung my clothes). SO if the closet was this creative... imagine the house.

This brings me to today.

I work at a rock climbing gym. I LOVE working there! In the evenings they even provide snacks for us hard working climbers. On one occasion a fellow climber gave me grief that while he was belaying me all the peanut m&ms disapeared. With little compassion for his plight I told him he should store some in his chalk bag. At this comment my mischevious mind started churning... Enter Grandpa. So I grabbed a chalk bag from lost and found (and it was SO ver cute too... with polka dots and stuff). Took it home and washed it (cuz... ew), and then proceeded to fill it with confectioners suger (cuz it looks just like chalk). I bought a bag of m&ms, dumped them in, and presented the reason he no longer had an excuse to complain. I give all the credit for this new fashion-setting trend-of-the-century to my Grandfather and his bottle cap closet.

In other news... it was a generally great day. I must admit, any day when someone remarks that your back is "rippling"... ya, its a great day. Similarly, any day that you can throw 2,0000 water balloons at suspecting kids who throw them back... a great day. And did I mention there was a short nap involved? Cuz its been like 2 years since the last time I napped. Holy cow it MUST be my birthday!

SO... post a reply and tell me why YOUR day was great! Cuz although this has been the first day in awhile that I have had multiple fantastic reasons why my day was so great... even crappy days have a few pearls of God's goodness. So please share... I would love to hear from you!

Developing

2006-06-01T23:53:00.000-07:00

One afternoon while working around his yard, a man spotted a cacoon. Looking closely, he noticed that something was struggling to get through a very small hole in the cacoon.

He sat and watched for several minutes before he was certain that what he was seeing was a butterfly attempting to get through the hole in the cacoon. As he watched, the insect inside the cacoon pushed and twisted but could not squeeze its way through the hole since the hole was smaller than the body of the butterfly.

Intending to help the butterfly emerge, the man took his pocketknife and very carefully cut the hole larger so the butterfly could pass through the opening. The butterfly emerged easily with no effort at all. However, the butterfly had a body that was far too big to permit its undeveloped wings to lift it.

The man waited with hope that the butterfly would continue to transform but this never happened. The butterfly needed to struggle to squeeze its body through the small opening. In the struggle, the wings would gain strength and the body would become smaller. Without this struggle the butterfly never developed into a beautiful insect that could fly from flower to flower. In fact, it died quickly, never able to develop.

What are you thinking... right now?

2006-05-23T20:13:00.000-07:00

Right now I am thinking:
1) I havent had a good night sleep in so long that now when I try I cant get to sleep.

2) I am interviewing for a job I feel absolutely unqualified for, but its where God is calling me to go. and Im wondering if its the job He has planned for me, or just the obedience to interview as He has asked.

3) There is no more room for fear in my life.

4) What ARE my priorities, and why dont I treat them like priorities?

5) I know God will find me a place to live... as June 17 draws nearer and nearer.

6) I'd rather be rock climbing... and I miss my kayak.

7) Im going to miss my sister when she moves back home. I am going to miss home when she moves back home.

8) I hate sin, and DESPISE my sin.

9) White water rafting this weekend... Id like to stay INSIDE the boat.

10) If I hear the phrase "the daVinci code" one more time Im gonna throw something. People... just ask yourselves... "What section of the bookstore did I buy this book?" And you will find yourself answering "the Fiction section" Do you know why? BECAUSE ITS FICTION!

Let the Children Teach Us!

2006-05-14T19:11:00.000-07:00

Very often the only way to get a quality in reality is to start behaving as if you had it already. That is why children's games are so important. They are always pretending to be grown-ups: playing shop. But all the time, they are hardening their muscles and sharpening their wits, so that the pretense of being grown-ups help them to grow up in earnest. ~C.S. Lewis

Denali's listeners

2006-04-27T18:16:00.008-07:00

So I caught a bit of tv tonight and was blessed by what I heard. I thought I'd share.

I actually saw a show about Denali National Park in Alaska, Mt McKinley's crib. They were specifically talking about dog sledding. I learned, and was amazed by the fact that the Ididerod is actually 1200 miles long and takes about a month to run in the ALASKA cold (and we dont know cold just like Hoosiers dont know traffic). To put this in perspective, I learned that 1200 miles is roughly the distance between New York City and Miami. These people do this standing on a sled being pulled by dogs... ya.

So the show continued explaining about these dogs, how they are raised and trained and specifically focused on the lead dogs. They said that when you are picking out lead dogs what you really want to find is a dog that listens, and I immediately had a picture of my relationship with God sandblasted on my heart. Imagine... seeking out, searching for, and training a dog that you KNOW has the ability to run before and take the brunt of the work of a team for a journey facing impossible odds. Imagine asking him to sustain this job for an even crazier amount of time. These dog sledders are asking these teams, and these lead dogs to do something, no to succeed at something the rest of the world would otherwise believe to be foolishness. They are asking these dogs to work, to overcome, and to sacrifice in order to take part in a race of ridiculous expectations... And they do... every year. And the one characteristic, the single most important quality a musher seeks out, searches for, and trains to instill in his lead dog is an adeptness at listening. I was floored! I was humbled.

And then I asked myself... "self: I wonder how you would train a dog to listen?" I thought back to my childhood shelty and began to answer myself to the tune of Jesus in my life. You teach them to listen by speaking softly, by rewarding obedience, and by disciplining rebellion... by loving them.

A Raid on the Inarticulate

2006-04-25T20:41:00.000-07:00

Ok... so maybe its just a rant... I may even be able to do it in once sentence... hmmm lets see.

So I seriously have this confused and desperate question about why it is that people (not any specific group of people, not really even limited to a personality type) have this mind-numbing tendency of refusing to, denying the need for, downplaying the importance of, and simply being intentionally void of any action whatsoever - thereby seriously CONFOUNDING any attempt at efficiency for this person- in the way of communicating with the leader/coach/boss any and all kinds of genuine disagreement with, frustration with, or questions about something that could so easily be solved by doing so, BUT instead decide (for even lack of action is a decision my friends) to conviently enough keep this information hidden until a time in which the bringing up of said information will most certainly cause the greatest amount of tension, awkwardness, and disruptiveness as is humanly possible.

So why? (See look... one sentence... two words even... garsh that was easy)

I would like to make specific note here. This question is not a crack on ANY specific person or group of people at all. I have noticed this tendency in friends as well as family, myself as well as others... really I believe it is a generalized human tendency, not chronic I dare think, but something each of us have or will work through at some point in time...

TODAY

2006-04-22T07:52:00.000-07:00

Lord today overwhelms me
And I dont know what to do.
Yet I know You have a plan for me
And I know its perfect too.
So Lord, I give You my life,
And all I need for today.
As I face my needs and sufferings,
its for Your blessing I will pray.

Lord, I thank You that Your answer,
wont always be what I expect.
And even given saddness,
I'll have peace knowing Im still blessed.
Just like the manna in the desert,
like falling pheasant and the dew,
Lord, help me trust in Your provision,
of what I need to get through...
Today.

My needs for tomorrow,
are the in-Your-hands kind
So what I need for tomorrow,
shouldnt overtake my mind.
I will wake every morning,
and I'll present my life to You.
And all day wait in expectation,
for all the great things You'll do.

Like every weakness You can conquer,
and every fear You chase away.
And every Vic'try bring me closer
to the servant You have made.
Just like the manna in the desert,
like falling pheasant and the dew,
Lord, help me trust in Your provision,
of what I need to get through...
Today.

To the Tune of Veggie Tales... and Kristin's Mom!

2006-04-18T18:57:00.000-07:00

I got my lip stuck in a gate and just sat there till the fire truck came and broke the lock. Then I spent six months in lip rehab with a kid named Oscar...The Ashgrove how graceful, how plainly tis speaking, the harp through it playing has language for me... Oosta!

So Ginny and I went on a road trip. SO Ginny and I went on a road trip to Indiana. So Ginny and I went on a road trip to Indiana, stayed for 10 days and did stuff(settlers, liar's dice, double-bid euchre, Ginny saw IU Law School and met the grandparents, and I even got to rock climb). Well this blog is all about the highlights and the quotes... Its a multimedia event entitled "Corn and Cows and Crappy Cars"...
So YAY I got to spend all SORTS of good time with my family (well one branch of it- not so much the other branches). One day Mom bought me scissors and I cut her hair, my sister Kate's hair, and Ginny's hair. It was SO much fun! Oh, I do LOVE the odd little talents we pick up in college, and become ecstatic when they actually become beneficial. It was seriously a fabulous, quality time-type activity.
I also got to see my friend Jodi... She is my Nepali friend and the two of us got to obsess about our long time dream of living in New Zealand, getting dread locks, and having a mountain biking ministry to the Mauri poeple... Hahaha then one day we learned they dont really live in the mountains... ya we felt foolish... but the dream remains. We have matching sandals. YAY!
Ginny and Jodi have actually spent some significant time praying together in the past, so it was fabulous that they were able to meet. In addition to my family and Jodi I was able to get some good Prater time. I was able to coerce Ernie and Joanne outside for a nice shot... arent they cute. They have some cute brat types too: Jesse (who now has a better half, Amber), Ross (the only whitey left in his Arabic class... cuz he ROCKS), and Mandy (the sis-type who calls TCU her home... going into pre-med... OH YEAH!). But there are ALL kinds of cute pictures of them. I thought Id get a cute one of the parental Praters.
So having worked a bit, celebrated Easter on Saturday (with an amazing meal), and been outbid by Ginny too many times to publicly admit, it was time to go. Just before leaving we have the SUPERBULOUS blessing of a Kristin going West as we were about to head East. It was too short, and too wonderful time to have.
Easter morning we piled into our respective cars and went for breakfast at... yup... THE CRACKER BARREL. Here K-dogg and Ginny are intensely engaged in checkers... hehehe. That finished we bade each other farewell and hopped back in our divergent directions. (KWISTEN COMEBAAAAAAACK!) Just outside of Indiana, still deep in the midwest, we saw this lovely sight. My comment... WOW Ginny... I know Im home when I see THIS...
SO I may not be seeing a sight like this for awhile, but I guess thats why it is so easy to appreciate the home I always took for granted. I am happy to be staying in DC for a while longer.

All time BEST quote of the trip happened as I was piloting the rainy drive to Indy from DC. It went like this:

Ginny: Oh this is SO exciting!
Gretchen: What??!!!
Ginny: I cant see ANYTHING!

When the radio spoke, this is what I heard...

2006-04-17T10:53:00.000-07:00

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It had been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way to fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Please note the new link... "I love my honda"

2006-04-09T11:10:00.000-07:00

i luv my job...

2006-04-05T19:33:00.000-07:00

Every year the Deaf children at Mantua put on a performance for the whole school. This is the one time of the year when they can shine, and show the school a piece of their culture and language! At the beginning of this year, however, it was made clear to the interpreters that no one was willing to direct the play. We quickly teamed up and separated the play into 3 manageable parts by splitting them into grade levels. One interpreter took each of the three grade levels and one interpreter headed it up. Each of us asked a Deaf adult to support us and we started from scratch. I was blessed with the 1st and 2nd grade and an amazing woman named Denise(example: she designed this backdrop so that every plan was made of hands that formed the shape of their sign... incredible!). Our play was about the rainforest, and the stories were all made from the numbers 1-5. THe kids were AMAZING!

We introduced the kids to their k-3 audience and then I explained how this play would be different than most. Here I am comparing musical patterns of rhyme and melody to number patterns using ASL handshapes. My example was the song "Twinkle, Twinkle /ABCDEFG". THEY TOTALLY GOT IT! The best part is that this picture shows Denise acting as my interpreter... HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! Thank took some practice.

This is the story of a flower growing. On the right the seedling begins as a number one (seen here)and increases in number as its petals increase-finally blooming into a number 5 on both hands. On the left the rain begins to softly water the growing flower and ends as the sun comes out-bursting into a number 5. It really is poetry... and kindergartners were getting this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These boys are tree frogs... I love it! Dont they look like tree frongs to you? The frog on the left is quite possibly the cutest child on the face of the earth. Here you see the end of the story when they are hopping off stage with their "webbed feet" spread out in the number 5.

On the right bere you have a tree (he started as a seedling, number one, and grew into a number 5 as he "branched out"... same as the flower). On the left, my friends, you have a sloth. This is hilarious. So now that they had presented their individual plants/animals, they put some of the stories together. So the sloth climbs the tree, eats some fruit (seen here) and then goes to sleep (as sloths often do).

Clouds come by... it begins to rain... lightening and thunder shake the tree, and the sloth (seen here), visual chaos that goes completely unnoticed by the sloth. As the clouds, rain, and lightening go away (all their own 1-5 stories), the animals come to check out this crazy, oblivious sloth. A snake and that cute lil tree frog to name a few.

At the very end 2 characters (narrators) come out. And this is the dialogue (the actual sign/number they us is in bold):
1: Do ya think he's Deaf
2: I doubt it
3: hmmmm... scratching of the chin (hehe... she was adorable)
4: maybe he's just ignoring us
5: should we scream?
Both scream... silently. The sloth doesnt budge, they shrug their shoulders and walk off stage. THE END.

I really cant think of ANYTHING I'd rather do all day. I love my job!

For the beauty of the Earth...

2006-04-03T20:19:00.000-07:00

Taking pictures on Monday was amazing!

Spring in Virginia...

I have been swept off my feet...

"For the beauty of the Earth,
For the glory of the skies,
For the love which from our birth,
Over and around us lies.
Lord of all to Thee we raise,
This our hymn of grateful praise."

Frustration in a bottle...

2006-03-31T14:48:00.000-08:00

So I found out that I wouldnt be going to photograph cherry blossoms with the pro photographer tonight, her son is sick... and there is nothin more heartbreaking than sick kids... it just shouldnt happen. But all was well, I rescheduled and Im gonna hope for the best... that they are still there on Monday! Plans then fell through with a few friends, and while I was saddened pretty deeply, I think I did a pretty decent job of realizing that I could truly just be happy for them. Yay for God there! However, that number 3... she always gets ya, right? So on my way home, I realized (thanks to that awesome lil vanity mirror and some scratchiness) that I have lice again. Well there was the straw, and there I was... camel, party of one. At that point everything that had happened, previously completely unrelated to my birthday, was all of the sudden ridiculously overemphasized on account that all of this had happened ON my birthday. Granted, all three things happening on any other of the 354 days of the year would have found me a wee bit nonplussed, but ahhhh the human psyche! For although I now truly believe that people should absolutely be able to be upset/sad/angry for a minute when stuff happens, I saw myself quickly disappearing into that terrible place of "victimized" self pity (nevermind the 25 small children singing to me FOUR times in one day and TWO parents of HEARING children deciding to bake cupcakes for the class in honor of "my" day... also forsaking the BOX of Swedish Fish AND a Starbucks card from said cherubs!). I was befuddled by this reaction of mine (at least I was once I stopped reactioning).

Why, I ask you... why? In reality, taking a look at the calendar... birthdays are all just guesstimized approximations. However, I am living proof that we really do see them as OUR day. As if on this day we are owed something, and owed more than we would be on a typical day. When in reality, it was our mothers we really owe something to on our birthdays. They did most of the work ya? And unlike our mothers, the process of "birth" has completely vanished from our memory. Cuz wow... thats quite a process.

So back to my 7-year-old A.D.D. self... and my 2-year-old reaction to a slightly abnormal day... God, I believe (at least in summary form) has taught me three things.
1) That great idea I had of sending my mother flowers on my birthday... I should do that more consistently... Cuz really, my birthday should be more about her.
2) Appreciation is found at the bottom of the barrel. In my case, at the bottom of a bottle(of lice shampoo).
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST...
3) Lice... ya, Im not so much a fan, and neither is my washing machine.

...and then it fell.

2006-03-26T02:32:00.000-08:00

She walked slowly to the piano and with reservation took a seat on its bench. She placed a bottle of water beside her and began to speak her life to us. All that God had taught her, and all that became her response. She wove stories into notes and notes into stories. I am still unsure which more clearly spoke to me... both ushering me in to the presence of Jesus. To my right, a sea of people like ripples in a pond, still enough to be silent but each distinctly set into motion. At once she married note and story which gave birth to song, and there... in that place each phrase awakened a memory, each line gave flesh to a dream. She gathered our tears and proclaimed affirmation to our joy. Our hearts had wings and words and yet our lips were not employed. This night she was able to teach us about ourselves by looking at Jesus and sharing what she saw. For we all look upon the same face, the source of all reflections...

...and then it fell.

The bottle fell, and it rolled without a word to a place for from the bench. Just beyond the boundary of the spotlight, it settled there and waited. We watched as she leaned towards the place from which it had leapt. She groped the air as awkwardly as her music had been graceful. Her fingers searched around the legs of the bench and strained over her cane to the farthest perimeter possible. Finding nothing her hands deftly returned to the keys and as swiftly as it had dissolved the story continued. But the bottle stood its ground... stealing our attention as it cried out its mocks and jeers. I could not look away...none of us could. But she just kept her eyes on Jesus, and continued to share her beautiful vision.

She preached the Gospel that night. In fact, no member of the audience could possibly have left without a clear understanding of sin's power and God's grace. But the most unexpected thing she imparted to each of us was a picture of Jesus we could never have otherwise seen... the view from a woman's blind eyes. Pondering this moment I have come to realize that Ginny Owens could see Him so clearly, because she was blind. Untainted by the world, disarming all distraction, it was a crisp clear view and a face each of us desperately need to see.